Back When I Was Human…

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10 Responses

  1. Josh says:

    Yep. you get it. After 28 years of public ministry I had forgotten what it meant to be human. A few tragedies in a row reminded me, and this album is the record of that awakening. This is a beautiful article. If it was still the good old days, I’d ask if I could use this as the liner notes. Thanks for being you, man. That’s about all I can say.

  2. Michael says:

    Josh,

    It’s been a tough morning fighting back all the feelings and memories…and I’m grateful for it.
    I just have to decide if I can afford to stay awake…

    Thank you for the kind words…and I pray that you have new chapters to write, new songs for your soundtrack…you still have many miles to travel…

  3. Pineapple Head says:

    Thanks for daring to share your thoughts, Michael. Your humanity…then and now…is appreciated.

  4. Michael says:

    PH,

    Thanks…I don’t think anyone knows what to do with me anymore….but that’s ok…

  5. Captain Kevin says:

    Michael, this is so good! I honestly don’t know what to say, other than I feel it.

  6. Michael says:

    Thanks, CK…I knew you’d get it…and I knew most wouldn’t…and that would be ok…sometimes you just have to get stuff out.

  7. Alex says:

    My experiences of living are similar to yours, except in reverse.
    I started out closed up, closed off, defended to the max. An unsafe childhood will do that to you.
    I never cried. Never. I was tough and capable and smart.
    I remember when my heart started to soften as I began to actually let Christ in, let the Holy Spirit dwell in me, little by little over the years.
    I remember beginning to be able to cry, not just in sadness but also from sweetness. Slowly tears came easier to me, as did all feelings.
    I guess I started out unhuman and evolved into humanity.

    Michael, you know what I’m going through and I will tell you what I am telling myself: do not let pain rob you of life, of living, of being you.

    I like what one of my teachers, James Finley says: “May we, in being transformed and set free, become someone in whose presence others feel safe, seen and accepted. For it is in such encounters that this weary world becomes a blessed place.”

  8. Michael says:

    Alex,

    Amen.
    This article was me planting my flag (again) in refusing to be conformed…

  9. Alex says:

    Was just reading Richard Rohr and came across this quote that I think might be pertinent: “If our religion Is not showing us how to transform our pain, it is junk religion.”
    I’m not sure all pain can be transformed, but if my religion isn’t helping me to at least hold it well while still being fully human, as you say, then I’d rather have God than that religion.

  10. Michael says:

    Alex,

    Amen, again…
    I was talking to a counselor this morning railing against words like “closure’…I don’t want “closure’…I want to feel the pain and live with it…feel fully and live fully…move on…carrying all that formed me.

    The heat is getting to me… 🙂

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