Crushed Roses

You may also like...

97 Responses

  1. Michael says:

    We had to make some last second edits…sorry about the interruption.

  2. filbertz says:

    This is a profoundly insightful testimony borne out of struggle few of us could endure. I speak a hearty ‘amen’ to the entire piece.

  3. g says:

    Wow…..I feel like I just sailed the depths of a person’s life with a glass-bottom boat…..powerful….

  4. I second Filburtz’ motion.

  5. Andy says:

    Good to see something about the wife in all of this.

    I have read the posts in certain places on the internet, almost all in support of Bob Coy. For every one that brings up the wife, 100 bring up Bob and not the wife. No exaggeration.

    That’s really unfair, unloving, unchristlike, and hurtful of the Bob supporters to hold that position.

    I don’t agree with her ending assertion about the Bible. Because, the Bible is the absolute Word of God and is always the only answer. It is actually adherence to the Bible that Bob Coy wasn’t doing in his own life, that caused the problem.

  6. Nonnie says:

    There is a beautiful fragrance coming from a crushed rose. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

  7. Mark says:

    Michael thank you so much for posting this. This I’d exactly what is needed at this time. This testimony, plus the recent post from Bob Sweats experience, tore at my heart while also providing enlightening hope. Having gone through this on both sides of my marriage I’ve experienced many elements of this – of course not in the same public manner. Restoration and healing is possible if The Lord is at the center. We are 13 years restored and our marriage is stronger than ever

  8. Michael says:

    Mark,

    Thank you…every testimony of redemption matters.

  9. Bob Sweat says:

    Mark,
    Praise God for a restored marriage!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Please read this article: Jennipher Abeyta; Brian D. Abeyta; Abeyta teens; Beauty for Ashes Congregation in Lone Tree, Colorado; Calvary Chapel Castle Rock; CCCR congregation, both now and former.

    This is truth and hope.

  11. Andrew says:

    Finally, it is with this new and painful reality in mind that I would urge the body of Christ to let them find their chance at a healing far and away from public ministry.
    ______________________________________________________________________

    Yes, I agree far and away from public ministry. I would encourage CCphilly to take Diane Coy off the speaking tour at their women’s conference in a couple of weeks. She is the last person that needs to be in the public’s eye now.

    http://d2goalzmwj5a3p.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/2014-Seminar-brochure.pdf

  12. covered says:

    Thank you Bob and thank you Michael for discerning that these types of threads are an important part of the process. We can focus on the sin and tear each other to shreds or we can help in the restoration which is more difficult but much more important.

    I heard someone say that when the humility and pain of our sin eclipses the sin itself, then we can say that’s restoration. Bob, I have seen that in you for the short 3 years I have been here. Thank you for sharing.

  13. dusty says:

    i am glad that the men here value women and look out for us. makes me happy. 🙂

  14. Michael says:

    Covered,

    I made a conscious decision Sunday to make this week about redemption and the greater issues we face in these kinds of situations.
    We have some good stuff coming…

  15. erunner says:

    Dusty, I missed you yesterday!! I thought I was gonna have to take your blood pressure. I am so happy to see you and pray you are well!! 🙂

  16. Kevin H says:

    Andrew, whether or not Diane is still listed on the brochure, I would highly doubt she will still be speaking.

  17. dusty says:

    e-brother 😎

  18. Andrew says:

    Kevin,

    You might be right but if they know she won’t be speaking, they shouldn’t falsely advertise her speaking. CC should be on top of this because many women who already signed up for the conference may have expected her to speak. They should at least be offered to get their money back.

  19. Kevin H says:

    Andrew, I don’t want to distract from the thread so this will be my last comment on the topic. These brochures, many of which have already been distributed were probably first printed weeks ago. Making a change now probably doesn’t make a significant difference. I would also highly doubt that many women are going to want their money back just because one of the listed speakers doesn’t speak.

  20. Andrew says:

    The brochure specifically states that NO refunds are allowed. Hopefully they will change that. I would imagine many women would want a refund because they may be disillusioned with CC with the recent events. Although some may make the claim this is just a CCFL problem, I respectfully disagree. I don’t think this kind of thing could have been hidden for so long without a few of the top CC pastors knowing about this for a long long time and choosing to covering it up. That is just my opinion.

  21. a pastor says:

    Andrew, I know it’s popular around here to be critical of CC, but I believe it’s a bit irresponsible to be making those kinds of assumptions. When you paint the problems of one church across all associated churches, you could be damaging some genuinely good churches and church leaders. I wish everyone would take pause and consider that before posting some of this stuff.

  22. Andrew says:

    a pastor,

    I followed a few articles on this blog well over a month ago that something huge was coming down the pike. RiBo knew about this a long long time ago it would seem. He was also the first to break the story. How come no CC pastors did anything before this? Just curious?

  23. filbertz says:

    setting aside the bible, ministry, service, responsibilities, etc. sounds pretty radical, but the advice here is sound. It is like going through the wardrobe or down the rabbit hole–everything has changed in a moment and the former ways & means no longer apply in the same manner.

  24. dusty says:

    Andrew, no CC pastor did anything ‘cuz of the ‘boy’s club’ mentality they all have.

  25. Andrew says:

    Thanks dusty, that’s what I thought!

  26. This article must go down in the archives as one of the most beautiful, painful, and necessary of all Phoenix Preacher articles. I have already commended it to several pastor friends as a must-read.

    Thank you, Crushed Rose, for allowing us a glimpse into your pain and restoration. I know that the events of this past week have dredged up many painful feelings for you. I pray that your sharing this is and will be a continued part of God’s healing process in your life.

    Thank you, Michael, for commissioning and publishing this writing.

  27. Michael says:

    A couple things here.
    When you reach this level of celebrity you also reach a level of isolation…and there are few close enough to speak into your life.
    You also acquire a false sense of privilege…and those who do speak are not heard.
    My network is pretty shocked…and I have a pretty deep network.

  28. a pastor says:

    Andrew… I can really say. I can only speak for myself.

    I had no idea. I was sickened, heartbroken and horrified when I got the news Monday.

    As a CC pastor, I can tell you this:

    I have a wonderful church board that holds me accountable and I submit to their accountability. I had a board meeting last night and we discussed this and prayed over it. We reviewed the accountability matrix set up among ourselves, my wife, etc… They are far more than a group of rubber stamps.

    With the above said, we don’t communicate with Costa Mesa much. I go to conferences. We hold to a similar ministry model. We even fellowship among one another. But Chuck Smith would not have known me from Adam, nor would any other prominent CC Pastor. My local CC pastors are my fellowship, many of them have places of accountability in my life. Many of them are prayer partners. But the idea that Costa Mesa runs local CCs is erroneous.

    It’s probably worthy of note that our church bylaws look less like Costa Mesa’s than you would expect. Our board has teeth when it comes to the conduct of a pastor. So, again… I beseech you guys from the heart of brotherly affection, consider what you’re doing when you so casually lump churches into the same barrel. You may be hurting very good churches and very Godly leadership that are doing very Biblical, Godly ministry.

    Good day.

  29. filbertz says:

    I would assume most, if not the vast majority, of CC pastors never had personal contact with BC, and those who did likely had no knowledge of the rumors nor the truth until it came out. Most CC pastors have limited contact with each other & it would be likely that no one gloats publicly about their ‘indiscretions.’ I think it is wise to use a very fine bristled brush when painting on this canvas.

  30. Michael says:

    CK,

    Thank you…and I agree wholeheartedly about the value of this piece.

  31. a pastor says:

    #24 — “Andrew, no CC pastor did anything ‘cuz of the ‘boy’s club’ mentality *they all have*.”

    Great job.

    #29 — filbertz — Well said. Thank you.

  32. covered says:

    Andrew, are you sure that Alex knew about this for some time? That’s not what he said and we need to be careful not to add to this already damaging situation. Alex I know was aware is working on other issues that are also damaging to CC’s but this wasn’t one of them.

  33. covered says:

    was aware and working on other issues

  34. Bob Sweat says:

    a pastor

    Thank you for sharing!

  35. Bob Sweat says:

    What filbertz said in #29

  36. J.U. says:

    Let me add my thanks for publishing this thoughtful and, I believe, very useful article. After some of the snarky comments the last few days from people obviously hurt by this turn of events that are lashing out at the messenger rather than looking for root causes and ways to be of assistance to those hurt and injured in this affair.

    This was a most enlightening deep dive into causes and effects, and one I found thoughtful as well as troubling as it illuminated the subject of common discourse on this site. That is the weaknesses and failing of CC in particular, American evangelical institutions in general, and possibly all of Christendom as we fallen creatures try to live up to our own expectations. Organizational structure, attitudes, methods, people, ways of doing business, mega churches, etc., all are under examination as this failure has come to light — only the most recent failure in a world that this is all too often an occurrence.

    Much to ponder. Thank you to Michael and the author for sharing.

  37. Andrew says:

    covered, I don’t know how long Alex knew. Only he knows. But he does have a page on Bob Coy that has many interesting comments that go back a long long time. In addition I heard a lot of criticism from Michael with his reporting and his response was that CC had more than ample time to deal with the situation before he reported but CC did nothing. All of this tells me of a systemic problem. I don’t think the problem is with small CC shops that no one really knows about. I believe its the big ones and the big names in the elite board of the CCA. I believe these top dogs knew. That’s my personal opinion.

  38. Laura Scott says:

    Crushed Rose,

    That was one of most poignant pieces I have ever read about healing in the church.

    Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.

  39. a pastor says:

    You are quite welcome, Bob Sweat– though it was my privilege for the opportunity to add my viewpoint among the many at hand. I think it only appropriate also add my thanks to the author of the above essay for sharing her heart so beautifully and instructively.

    My prayer is that all of the desperately needed healing happens, that Romans 8:28 be proven true in such a way that God is glorified through such horrible actions, and that the God of all comfort be glorified and provide opportunity for the hurt to one day comfort others in His name.

  40. Scott says:

    Beautifully written piece.

  41. Michael says:

    Andrew,

    “I believe these top dogs knew. That’s my personal opinion.”

    The top dogs are still in shock.

    Coy is on the East Coast…and that may as well be the moon in CC.

  42. a pastor says:

    # 36 — “That is the weaknesses and failing of CC in particular, American evangelical institutions in general, and possibly all of Christendom as we fallen creatures try to live up to our own expectations. Organizational structure, attitudes, methods, people, ways of doing business, mega churches, etc., all are under examination as this failure has come to light — only the most recent failure in a world that this is all too often an occurrence.”

    JU, that is a great point. I don’t believe this is a CC issue. It is a church issue. We’ve seen church leaders fall in nearly every denomination, and in numerous non-denominations. We’ve seen church abuse in pretty much every church movement this side of the apostolic times. Jesus had to chide the church as early as Revelation. Paul had to correct the church as early as Corinth.

    The church is a bunch of fallen people, owned by Jesus, trying to do God’s will by the power and direction of His Spirit. Any church gov’t will only be as good as its leaders are Godly– that’s why scripture talks more about the character of the leader than it does the form of the government.

  43. Scott says:

    I’ve been reading and studying the Book of Judges lately. It’s the ultimate, “they did that which is right in their own eyes” book. It’s like looking into the mirror of my own humanity.

    Reading about Samson’s life & legacy as penned (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit) by an unnamed author has been quite interesting. Suffice it to say, Samson would have been railroaded out of the land (Church) at the first mention of his marriage to a foreign woman if he lived today.

    However, the moral of the story, even though it’s mostly immoral, is tucked into verse 4 of chapter 14. Namely, that in spite of our sins and weaknesses, God will accomplish his purposes.

    It’s ugly sometimes, yes, but we must as believers bow the knee and acknowledge that God’s sovereignty and ability to work out everything according to counsel of his own will is preeminent. Even in Bob Coy’s life. Even in mine.

    Like Samson, it may require the stripping of our pride, loss of stature, being subjected to public humiliation and even the gouging (figuratively) out of our eyes for God to accomplish his will in our lives.

    So be it…

    .

  44. Andrew says:

    “The top dogs are still in shock”.
    ______________________________________________________________________

    In shock because this got exposed or because Bob cheated? The good ole boys club is tight and maybe they never expected a leak!

    _____________________________________________________________________

    “Coy is on the East Coast…and that may as well be the moon in CC”
    ____________________________________________________________________

    Not for Don McClure. He is listed as an assistant pastor in ccphilly when I believe he lives in CA. That one boggles my mind.

  45. gomergirl says:

    thank you thank you thank you

  46. Paigemom says:

    “To survive this, the Coys will probably have to adopt an entirely new approach to their faith—one that doesn’t include the Bible as weapon, or the Bible as excuse, or the Bible as permission to dominate, or the Bible as permission to “cover” our sins rather than hold them squarely under the Light who is Christ in the here and now. They will need a language that sets aside the Scriptures that have handily been “used” to justify, rationalize, and manipulate–in order to maintain Bob’s position of power/influence/”call”/”giftedness”—one that humbly makes way for something Eden-kind-of-new”

    I understand this. It’s not a discarding of the Bible, but a deeper look at what I now call Church Culture and duplicitous interpretation of the Scriptures. There is a whole lot of picking the verses we like and discarding the one’s we don’t, then saying ‘oh that was for then not now and I’m living Biblically”….. Part of the journey to Truth in devastation like this saga includes looking back at the verses I’d read hundreds of times and seeing them in a different way, realizing my lack of context. When Diane starts asking ‘what else was I wrong about?” the tsunami will begin to flood inward. Life, thoughts, relationships and relating to God will change. Big time….

  47. nancy says:

    Wow! I believe this is one of the most valuable articles even posted on this blog … & there have been many important subjects covered. The words expressed here are of great value and need to be read by many. I’m sure this was difficult to write & I’m so thankful the author was willing to share this wisdom & truth. So much wisdom born from painful experience … wow! Thank you for sharing!!!

  48. Michael says:

    Andrew,

    The” tight good old boys club” only exists in your imagination.
    That is a highly fractured group of men.
    I just haven’t felt like writing about it.

  49. Andrew says:

    Michael, I agree they are a highly fractured group but I believe there is a super glue that is even stronger that holds it all together. Its the legacy of Chuck Smith and the fear of anything getting out. All the Moses Model pastors I have come across operate exactly the way Chuck Smith has taught them over the years.

  50. RiBo says:

    Great article to whoever wrote it.

  51. Jim says:

    “My local CC pastors are my fellowship, many of them have places of accountability in my life. Many of them are prayer partners.”

    So sad that you are not a part and are “above” and outside of the life of your local church.

    This is a huge part of the problem, not just in CC, but in all moses model churches.

  52. Gary says:

    What an insightful, loving, well-written piece! Any way to get this in the hands of CCers all around?

  53. Overly Concerned says:

    I praise God for this message of yours Crushed Rose. Your life now bears a fragrance that brings true repentance and healing with it. Thank you for ‘falling on the Sword of the Spirit’ whether by choice or not. I am grateful for you and your message

  54. dusty says:

    Gary, that would be wonderful, but unless it comes from CC it is taboo….they are discouraged strongly against reading anything without the CC stamp of approval.

  55. dusty says:

    Jim, I agree! it’s like they dissuade you from being with friends and family -Christian or not -that do not go to that particular CC. sounds cult-like i know….but true…

  56. Alan Hawkins says:

    So envisioned here is a life restored but not ministry restored. I understand and once held that view completely. I do not follow that path now and will elaborate more about it.

  57. dusty says:

    Michael, I’m the one who brought up the ‘boys club’…I am sure it is still there to some degree. Hope i’m wrong.

  58. dusty says:

    Paige, I like your thoughts on this….very insightful. and thought provoking.

  59. dusty says:

    Hi Nancy!!!(((Hugs))))) got lots to tell you! in a nut shell things are better.

  60. Scott says:

    Alan Hawkins at #56, I am beginning to lean that way too. I hope you can convince me.

  61. Paigemom says:

    Alan, what is your definition of ‘ministry”? I know the author of this article very well…and we have had many many discussions about ‘ministry’, having both once been public speakers, teachers, church leaders and paid staff…. Now neither of us are in such positions, have little desire to ever be. Pretty hard to be a ‘pastor’s wife’ when not married to a pastor.

    “Ministry”. Take the example of making coffee. If I make coffee at home, it’s home making. If I work for Starbucks, it’s a job. If at the church’s coffee bar, it’s ‘ministry’….
    Starbucks is a ‘job’ because I get paid…. but what about pastors/ministers who get paid?

    The author of this article and I have come to see life as ministry. All of life. Making coffee for spouse or friend is ministry. Mowing the elderly neighbor’s lawn is ministry. Keeping my front yard tidy in the neighborhood is ministry. As Brother Lawrence would say ‘turning my omelet, as unto Jesus” is ministry. Love thy neighbor…. to me, the outcome of losing identity and place is being able to see that ‘ministry’ is all around in daily life.

  62. dusty says:

    I liked the article and feel for the writer….but CC does not seem to work that way, they seem to assign the “wounded pastor” to another CC in another state and things go on as normal…

  63. Anonymous says:

    When BC’s top right hand man of 30 years and the worship leader of 30 years leave in the same year- )in the last 18 months or so—it seemed there was something brewing for awhile.

    I related a lot to this article. Very well written.
    Having left this church being hurt deeply by this Pastor’s actions, I still have been sick to my stomach since finding out. It is just so unsettling.

  64. Anonymous says:

    Dusty- You are right. The congregation was told he would never Pastor THAT church again- but nothing stops him from coming back next year in another location. His brother did that.

  65. dusty says:

    anon, I came from his brothers first church…..

  66. Gary says:

    THAT is the good ol’ boys mentality. Rather than fixing the unaccountability problem it encourages it.

  67. This post is remarkably honest and transparent. Thank you for sharing it. And thank you for not prioritising marriage over the individual spouses.

    Sometimes a husband who is sex addict is also abusive to his wife. If anyone here wants resources to help deal with domestic abuse, you might like to check out A Cry For Justice. cryingoutforjustice.com
    I co-lead that blog with Pastor Jeff Crippen.

  68. a pastor says:

    #51 Jim. You shouldn’t make such unfounded assumptions and accusations. It is unbecoming. Just because I fellowship and pray with fellow pastors somehow means that I do not fellowship or pray with the congregation? It would appear that many on this site are eaten up with quite a bit of vitriol.

    Carry on.

  69. dusty says:

    I’m trying to figure out what Jim said that was vitriol. I thought he was quite calm.

  70. Gary at #52, if they will check their emails, I know of at least 12 CC pastors that will be receiving this.

  71. Dusty, vitriol is too strong a word for the context, and Jim’s comment was far from vitriolic. On the other hand, I think Jim did make an assumption that “a pastor” has fellowship with his colleagues, but not his parishioners.

  72. a pastor says:

    He calmly made unfounded accusations, which to the heart of a pastor, are cruel. If I had said, “Local CC pastors are the totality of my fellowship and the only people I pray with”, then perhaps it would have been justified. But to accuse a pastor of being above their congregation is a pretty ugly criticism when it is untrue.

    I was at the emergency room until late last night sitting with a husband whose wife was being tended for severe abdominal pain. My wife and I have multiple families over for dinner per week. Tuesday afternoons, our home is open to the men of the church for fellowship and prayer. Over the years, we’ve opened our home to allow several of the families to live with us while they were displaced for one reason or another.

    So, yah. It’s pretty apparent some folks here are allowing past hurt be expressed as unneeded vitriol and are painting with far too broad brushes.

  73. BTW, Dusty, it is SOooo good to see you here!

  74. dusty says:

    yay Captain Kevin, good idea!

  75. a pastor says:

    And for the record:

    vit·ri·ol
    ˈvitrēəl,-ˌôl/Submit
    noun
    1.
    cruel and bitter criticism.

    #51 – “So sad that you are not a part and are “above” and outside of the life of your local church.”

  76. dusty says:

    why thank you Captain, sooooo good to be back! Thank you for your prayers for me and your love

  77. dusty says:

    A Pastor, Jim is usually not as you seem to think he is…perhaps he misread your post. I am sure he will clear things up when he reads this thread.

    I am sorry to interfere.

  78. dusty says:

    sorry I used the word wrong – I have bad grammar and horrible spelling as well. :/

  79. a pastor says:

    No need, dusty. I was making an observation. Little more. I’m sure I’ll live, as will Jim. 🙂

  80. Anonymous says:

    Dusty-
    Where was the first church?

  81. JonnyB says:

    I don’t know about you but this writing came across to me in kind of an ambiguous fashion of a sort at first read. My comprehension lacked in reading some of it. That bothered me. I kind of felt out of the loop in comprehension.

    That is not to say that it is not sound wisdom, just that I did not get it in some portions of it.

    I know that it is written from one who has been through a lot of deep pain, that part I get.

    The overall wisdom of it all is that there can be no substitute for experience. And I think that what i am getting out of it is that it is saying to stop the man generated rush to fix the situation. Let time and God do their work well in the timing of the Lord.

    A lot of time.

    My take in my own ambiguous fashion…

    A man’s heart is what is on the tiller of how all of this will come together I think. Mr. Coy either gets real and true or remains evasive and shadowy. His past will certainly speak out at some point so he should now come clean before someone does it for him. He needs to cooperate with what has befell him, the exposure was a long time in coming. He had plenty of time to set things right and to move forward, letting sleeping dogs lie.

    But now the dogs are awake and they barked loud and clear.

    After all, in reality he is just one of us and not Seinfeld as a Christian in ministry.

    God is never with out a replacement. None of us are unrepeatable. God has his people waiting in the wings who will do damage control from Christ perspective. Everything will be OK except for one thing.

    When I take a nail out of a board, the hole remains behind…

    The author of the post of this comment thread knows this all too well me thinks.

  82. pstrmike says:

    JonnyB,
    There have been times in my life that my faith no longer worked. I had to abandon much of what I thought I knew about God and start afresh. Times when I wanted to abandon the faith altogether. The limits of my previous faith could only be recognized in light of traumatic events in my life that were instrumental in revealing the true of my own soul. Before those times I did not have the light to see, or willingly lowered the shade when I heard God’s still ,small, voice calling me to leave it all and follow Him. I understood what the author is talking about here because I lived through my own tragedies that were an incredible high but necessary price to pay for the relationship I have with God today. I think it was David Ruis who penned, “down the road of suffering, to the wedding feast”. Jesus said it another way: take up your cross daily and follow Him. Much of Christianity is about asking Jesus to take up His cross and follow us…… and that, is not the Christianity of the Bible.

  83. mk says:

    This is beautifully written and thank you for posting. My heart breaks for Diane and the children. I am sad for Bob too – I don’t understand what went so terribly wrong. Though I haven’t attended CCFL in a number of years, it was where I heard the gospel message and began my Christian journey. Bob dedicated my kids to the Lord. He also encouraged us through a difficult season in our lives.

    My family has history there – the past couple days, I am being reminded of our time at CCFL – and remembering a time long ago, in the early ’90’s, when the church was still small and you knew almost all the names and faces. That was a precious time. It really was. As the church grew to such large numbers, undoubtedly it took a toll on its leaders. How is it normal to have some 20,000 people attending and not be able to go somewhere without someone recognizing you and wanting to strike up a conversation? It would be tiring to not have anonymity, in my opinion.

    Thanks again for posting this article. It is one I’ll enjoy rereading several more times.

    My prayers go forth for the Coy family.

  84. JonnyB says:

    pstrmike,

    Thanks for that!

    Just from what you said I am willing to say that it is very likely that you have learned to yield to the Holy Spirit in true humility.

    Just stepping out on a hunch so to speak…

    That is why you have found God’s favor in provision of those things you have sought to obtain I would think.

    Humility has a hard price in a sense. But you already know that.

    As Gibran the poet once wrote:

    (Paraphrased)

    “The chisel of the Master’s hand hurts as it carves out a bowl in the block that will contain much love for others.”

    You know, when I was a younger man I knew so much, I had all the answers. And now I know so little.

    The cross of Christ is a wonderful place you have found.

  85. Jim says:

    A pastor,

    I merely quoted you.

    “My local CC pastors are my fellowship, many of them have places of accountability in my life. Many of them are prayer partners.”

    I apologize if my interpretation of your words was incorrect, as you clearly meant to say that your local church was your fellowship and source of accountability.

    No need to further defend yourself, or to assign motives to my statement.

  86. Gary says:

    Perhaps Bob Coy is like some biblical characters such as King Hezekiah or King Uzziah. They were both good kings for a long time …until they crossed a line. For Hezekiah is was when he was dying and cried out to God. God told him he would live on and even told him how many years he would live. Read about what a show-off he became and the son he had. Yikes!

    King Uzziah came to the point where he decided he was good enough to act as priest. Uh-oh! Can you say leprosy?

  87. pstrmike says:

    Thanks JonnyB. I don’t know if I really know much about humility, I could create a list of names that would tell you I don’t. I do know that nothing that I have I deserve. This article hit home to me in so many ways. After some years in the ministry, I felt like the worse thing I ever did for my relationship to God was to become a pastor, and it took some time to get over that and rekindle my walk with God, if that makes sense. I had to develop a harder outer shell and softer inner spirit.

    apastor,
    Jim is a good guy, cut him some slack.

  88. Michael says:

    Thank you all for participating on this great article today.
    Thanks to my friend for the courage and heart to share it.

  89. Brent says:

    It is saddening to see so many people who are delighting in this and any CC pastor downfall. As a pastor pointed out, this is a church problem, not a CC problem. It happens too often at all kinds of churches. I have never seen so many “Christians” filled with hate for their brothers! Why try to cover up the hate by writing beautiful/deceitful /eloquent/ Christianese words? Many here are tearing down yet trying to make it sound pious/religious. Does anyone care about what this downfall does to the name of Jesus?! Or are you just in the “Yeah, gotcha!” mode? Furthermore, where is the proof of an adulterous affair? Because Alex said it, makes it true? Um, no.

  90. ” Does anyone care about what this downfall does to the name of Jesus?! ”

    Obviously Bob Coy does not and all of his defenders apparently do not. I keep asking, isn’t anyone just pissed at Bob Coy for his actions and the bad light it shines on the church? As I said yesterday – just another Elmer Gantry and the church does not need another Elmer Gantry.

    I think the outcry from the church may just shine a better light on Christians, so unbelievers understand that we too have moral outrage.

    Brent, your suggestion and that of others seems to be more in line with those protecting the Catholic priest – sweep it under the carpet, let God deal with it.

  91. Michael says:

    Brent,

    You are a liar and a fool.
    How’s that for an introduction?
    Nobody here is delighting in this and I’m sick and tired of you idolaters claiming we are.
    We did not smear the name of Jesus.
    Bob Coy did…deal with it.

  92. Michael says:

    I have proof of his adultery.
    I’m sure everyone will soon.
    You people act like his “moral failure’ was tearing the tag off a mattress or getting a ticket for “loud pipes”.
    Grow up.

  93. “Tearing the tag off a mattress”
    My moral failure knows no bounds then. 😉

  94. Paigemom says:

    Michael #92. Incredible. Thank you. ‘tearing the tag off a mattress’. Over the top.

  95. Headless Unicorn Guy says:

    “I hold the belief that, [and no doubt this is contrary to the belief of some of Bob’s anguished stand of followers] reinstituting the Coys to their previously “anointed” ministries cannot be the answer to this devastating situation in Ft. Lauderdale. In fact, I would argue reinstatement is the worst course of action possible.”

    But the Ring of POWER has a Will of its own.

  96. Redeemed says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. Raw. Painful. Hopeful. May the Lord continue to use you to touch many!

  97. Redeemed says:

    I too am a wife of a cc fallen pastor. I know too well of the pain you are describing above… Many of you are saying that Calvary Chapel’s are too quick to restore pastors. That is not our experience at all. Perhaps restoration is only for the chosen, well known pastors? For us, there was no restoration, no help, no counseling, no communication from the cc organization. It saddens me that there seems to be such partiality. I’m not one to speak out usually, but I am hoping that this will strike a chord with someone that CAN DO something. Someone that WILL do something. I’ve already shared my concern with the leadership of cc but to no avail. In our city, there were 4 large churches where the pastor fell; “moral failure” (my husband included). All 3 of the other denominations had a restoration process. One had a two year program and has been fully restored to a different church, one was never taken out of the pulpit (except for some time off) and the third was mentored and counseled and continued fellowship at his church. We, however, had nothing. That took me by surprise because I’ve always been a Calvary girl with the utmost respect for the organization. I was so disappointed with the church I loved. God is faithful still. He ministered to our hearts, restored our marriage. We are doing better than ever. After serving full time in the ministry in the cc church for 20 years, I would have thought that we would have been counted valuable enough to have received help. I guess as long as you are “doing the right thing” you are valuable. As soon as you are broken, you are gone – kicked to the curb. Not by God, but by the cc men overseeing these types of things. I now know that this treatment is not God’s heart. God goes after the one; the broken; the repentant. I am so thankful for that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.