Words are the tools we use to describe what we see, what we feel, what we fear, and what we believe.
I’ve used up all the words I have that fit those tasks and they are all inadequate for the moment we find ourselves in.
Charles Bowden’s final book came yesterday and I wasn’t going to read it…I wanted to have something to look forward to now that most of my heroes are dead.
Temptation and necessity overtook me and I did read…perhaps Bowden would have some words I could borrow.
Chuck had run out of words as well…but the emotions were there demanding explanation.
He had seen too much devastation and expected more and he had taken in all he could.
He wanted out and so do I.
He escaped to the birds…I feed the cats.
I went to bed early and slept in late…which meant that Smokey would have a late breakfast.
He had every reason to spit and growl at my lack of care.
Instead, he crawled up inside my jacket and we both were warmed… we found shelter with each other for a moment, from the rain and from other living creatures.
My doctor calls and tells me to stay home…the virus is out of control in the valley.
The valley does not believe this.
This is their right and as they exercise their right to disbelieve it is better that I stay home.
Many believe the election has been stolen and while they exercise their right to believe it is better that I stay home.
The rains have come and mingled with the ash and the smell defies my vocabulary.
I smell it in places where there has been no flame.
I smell it while I’m online and it sticks to my mind like the wet ash sticks to my shoes.
There’s a storm coming in, so I make sure Smokey’s house has dry blankets and adequate cover.
He prefers the space between my body and my coat.
I hug him and rejoice that words are unnecessary in that moment.
The man at the store tells me there was one good thing about the fire…it burned out the Mexicans.
He asks if I might speak at his church next year.
We’re fellow believers, after all…
I tell him I’ve run out of words.
There’s a storm coming in and the only safe places are where words are unnecessary.
Help my unbelief.