What Does It Mean To Be a Man?

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34 Responses

  1. Alan says:

    Ah it is not without suggestiveness that John noted Mary Magdalene thought Jesus was the gardener.

  2. Josh says:

    I don’t think gender obfuscation has led to a crisis in young men.

    I’ve always thought it was silly the ways we define masculinity, and I like what Hansen has to say here. I think you could also just look to Jesus and how he acted, how he treated people, and see a good picture.

  3. Michael says:


    Interesting…tell us more.

  4. Michael says:


    Having read the studies and with real life interaction with my godson…we have a problem.

    I like your solution…

  5. Josh says:

    I’m around dozens of young men every week and not one…not one…is confused about his gender. Online? Sure. Media stories? Sure. In real life, I just don’t see it at all.

    That said, there is tons of depression and mental illness, and that is a problem. If finding the cause is key to finding a solution, I think we are barking up the wrong tree with gender obfuscation.

  6. Josh says:

    To be clear – that is not to say gender obfuscation is not a problem. It is, but I don’t think it is the cause of a crisis in young men. I think it is a symptom of the same root problem.

  7. Michael says:

    Forgive my lack of clarity.

    The issue for the guys I know is how they are supposed to interact in this world with both women and those who are gender fluid.

    Particularly if they hold to traditional roles…not misogynistic roles, but traditional roles as a protector and provider.

    Those interactions have become filled with landmines I never had to cope with…and probably wouldn’t have coped with well…

  8. JD says:

    DID is a very real mental disorder but since there’s no medication that treats it, that means it doesn’t rate as a medical diagnosis. No money to be made off of it.

  9. Michael says:


    I don’t think that’s the problem in view…

  10. Michael says:

    I’m surprised…evidently this is not as big a deal as I thought it was…

  11. WenatcheeTheHatchet says:

    Since I’m reading through Ephraim Radner’s new book Mortal Goods he suggests that a popular academic explanation of anomie as being rooted in capitalism is probably at most half-right, the abrupt breakthrough in longevity is at least as plausible, people live twice as long as they did in 1900 and the scripts of how to go through life are both fuzzier and not adapted to the predictability of being able to live such a long life.

    By the time the average late 20th century man was old enough to his his proverbial mid-life crisis the average man from centuries prior was already dead.

    I’ve said for years that the post-WW2 scripts of adulthood predicated on enough financial autonomy to establish nuclear family units has fizzled away. There was a brief stretch in the MHC years where “life together” was a preferred solution, certainly the one Driscoll touted. He and Grace were renting every spare room in their home to single guys in nascent ministry slots. Of course once he was financially solvent enough to decide to go strictly nuclear (family arrangement and, ahem, verbal tactics) he dropped all that “life together” pseudo-Bonhoeffer stuff and went straight to “you gotta get a real job!”

    In my neck of the woods a number of showboater types (and I’d frankly include Doug Wilson among them) sell scripts of adulthood and whether or not men and women can plausibly fulfill those scripts is alternately moot or highly contested (in Seattle it’s obviously highly contested at best).

    Gender fluid or not it’s expensive to live up here.

  12. Jean says:

    I listened to most of the video. In my opinion, it’s mostly his opinion of the female psyche and a hijacking of Genesis 2.

    Why would one not turn to the table of duties in the epistles for the role of a husband and father? It’s right there.

    Moreover, both sexes of young people are in many cases suffering. They are not in many cases experiencing home life with a mother and father. And in many cases they are not raised in a Christian home. What do we expect?

    Children learn from examples. It’s not that complicated.

  13. Muff Potter says:

    William Wilberforce, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Oskar Shindler, now those were some REAL men.

  14. Muff Potter says:

    I’ve long known that women are the stronger of our species.
    So how do I fit that in with Hansen’s talk on men as ‘protectors’ of the garden based solely on plumbing received at birth?

  15. The New Victor says:

    John Addams said something like, “I study War, so my son can study politics [JCA], so his son can study Art.”

    Greatest Generation>>Boomers>>[delete my Gen-X slacker cohort]>>Millennials/Gen Z. And here we are where it breaks down. We will have trouble getting young engineers to show up onsite 3 days per week. Even older Millennials complain about it. The workforce a decade from now will be interesting.

    I was adopted by a Silent Gen single mother who was a feminist. Never had a father in my life as I was sent into foster care as a toddler. My therapist asked me how I knew to be a father. God and the Bible? He quipped, “so you’re inventing.” Something like that.

  16. E-Dan says:

    I do think there is something to the anomie/capitalism theory, most especially because back in the day most men could take care of a family on just his salary, and in many cases also his secret lady or family on the side. Not no mo’.

    And this was before the gays and he-shes showed up with their Book of Common Prayer revisions and drag queen liturgies and lazy millennials.

    And in this reading, then, Driscoll and Archbishop Beach are just different points on the spectrum. Pity the young boys who think these are the only two options for role models, and young girls who are told these are the only spousal options.

  17. Janet Linn, BrideofChrist says:

    I read in the New York Times recently that in the last few years the percentage of American girls wanting to’ ‘transition’ to being male has nearly doubled. The percentage of boys wanting to ‘transition’ to female has held steady. Nobody knows why girls would rather be boys than girls at ever increasing numbers. Our kids are not alright. I subscribed to the New York Times to read David French’s columns – he is a brilliant evangelical Christian mind!

  18. Josh says:

    Doubled is .3% to .6%. The coverage on this far outweighs what is actually going on in the real world.

    Why do girls want to transition more? Its easier. Not so much to lose. Let your hair grow back and wear a dress and you transitioned back to a girl.

  19. JanetLinn,BrideOfChrist says:

    Actually, a transitioning girl usually has a complete mastectomy, and then she will never be able to nurse a child naturally if she transitions back to being a female. Also, her voice deepens, and after transitioning back to female her voice is never is the same again. Some girls are suing medical professionals because they felt that they were harmed permanently by the medical transitioning process. I will concede that boys are harmed even more by the process than girls are!

  20. Pineapple Head says:

    It seems Tulian Tchividjian (another head case) wants to compete with Mark Driscoll for the title of “cussing pastor”:


  21. Michael says:


    I can’t comment on cussing because my own speech often peels the paint off the walls.

    I can affirm that Tullian is a head case….

  22. DavidH says:

    Maybe off topic a bit.

    My son is 25 years old. We talk a lot about life. He has been true to himself. At one point he was watching YouTube a lot and found Andrew Tate. We had long talk, and he realized he didn’t want to be like that. To paraphrase my son, “What do I do, dad? I don’t want to be a bad guy. I don’t want to treat women bad. I don’t want to be a bad man. You and grandpa showed me how to treat other people, and that’s what I want to be like.” By the way, this is a conversation we have had several times since he was in high school. At one point last year he started hanging around a group of “friends” who were into bar hopping, and drinking heavily. His mom and I were very concerned, but I tried to keep. my distance, and gently guide him. One night he was staying home instead of “going out to party.” I asked him why he was staying home. He told me “I just can’t be like them. I can’t use people, and treat girls like —t.” (He tends to cuss a lot, sorry).

    I feel for him, he wants a girlfriend, but he knows he has to be true to himself. Not that he’s perfect. But I am proud of him.

  23. Michael says:


    Good on you that you are able to have these conversations with your son…you and your bride did a lot right.

    My godson is 22 and we have had to have many discussions about Tate and his ilk….and being true to oneself.

    There is this subset out there that hates women…and their venom is spreading…

  24. Michael says:


    “Our kids are not alright.”

    If I were a kid today, I don’t think I would be either…

    David French is a gift.

  25. Reuben says:

    This is one I have answered 100 times and hit delete. All I can safely say is this. Sorry, but there are no definitive gender roles in this society.

    Back to Jesus.

  26. Pineapple Head says:


    I tend to agree with you on this. Men and women are obviously unique (something I appreciate) but the idea of trying to squeeze people into particular roles seems to be an exercise in futility and not helpful. Some people would question my daughter and her husband. She recently rebuilt a Yamaha 500 and does most of the home repairs. He is an excellent chef and does all the cooking and food shopping. They’re just living out of their gifting, but some people would want to flip them into each other’s roles. More than fitting in roles, show me your character, integrity, and your heart for Jesus.

  27. Josh says:

    If we are talking about people who undergo any sort of medical procedures in their transition, somewhere around 15% of the .6% above go through with any of that.

    Yes, it’s all over social media and all over our news feeds, but we are honestly talking about something like .07%. Is that still too much? Sure, but it’s nowhere near the widespread problem it appears to be.

  28. Reuben says:

    I have written so many responses to this…

    This is one I definitely have to bow out of.

  29. Everstudy says:

    When 28% of Gen Z now identifies as LGBTQ, it’s a widespread problem.

  30. Josh says:

    They do not

  31. Josh says:

    Taking Reubens lead on this one too.

  32. Josh says:

    “28% of Gen Z now identifies as LGBTQ”

    I found the report with that number. I guess I forget that their are more letters than LGT. So yes, 5% say they are Gay / Lesbian, the other 23% are in another category. 5% still seems like a very high number.

    My son told me a couple years ago that every single girl at his rural North Carolina middle school was bi. He claimed every single one. It seems that in High School many or most don’t ID as that anymore, but the point is, that was the cool thing to say. There was no social penalty for saying it, and you didn’t ever have to date or be involved with someone of the same sex. These girls were still dating boys.

    Don’t be afraid. This is the way one generation shocks the one before it. The natural urges are strong, and the vast majority of those girls will end up with men. Its just how the world works.

  33. Muff Potter says:

    Reuben @ 6:10 pm,
    “They’re just living out of their gifting, but some people would want to flip them into each other’s roles.”

    And all based on plumbing received at birth, combined with a particular spin of the Bible. I am soooo glad to free of all that horse-poo-poo.

  34. Josh says:

    Me too Muff. Doesn’t even make sense to me looking from the outside.

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