2023 In Review
2023 is hard to review because it’s hard for me to remember.
Sometime in early June I woke up and was barely able to walk. A couple of days later,I was in the emergency room in intense pain.
Now, with the calendar about to turn I’ve been on opioids and other pain meds for months…it’s hard to do anything that requires a clear mind.
I can’t read well these days and one can only write as well as one reads.
I apologize for the quality of content that i have written, but it was the best I could do.
This year has personally been about pain.
Physical pain that’s been relentless along with the pain of watching my mother as her mind dies a day at a time.
I lost my friend Smokey the cat early in the year.
The pain of watching my close friends suffer with their own physical maladies and the searing ,shared pain of a friend who lost his son.
The pain of knowing that in real life and on this site….things will never be the same.
2023 was the year when we sorted out the debris from the Covid virus, vaccines, and lockdowns….and the ongoing debris from the ascendency, fall, and possible return to power of Donald Trump.
We decided that we would divide and divide again over these matters…that past relationships were to be judged only by these matters, not personal history.
2023 was the year I decided to stop trying to clean up the debris and rebuild the bridges…bridges have to be rebuilt from both sides.
There is a huge sense of loss I feel…but I’m hopeful that former friends will remember me fondly if they ever view the larger picture.
They may not…but I will hold them fondly anyway.
I cherish the old friends who have remained and the new ones made.
New friends will come…but they will know in advance where I stand and what I believe.
I won’t compromise biblical truth or my faith to pacify anyone.
2023 was the year I decided that Beth Moore was the Bonhoeffer of our day.
She lost much, but she speaks clearly and with Christian character…I can do no less or be shamed by my cowardice.
I’m committed to putting all things under the lordship of Christ…even when other Christians despise me for it.
2023 was the year that I finally, completely rejected “inerrancy” and found the Bible more “true” than I ever imagined.
Your love for for the book deepens when you don’t have to constantly defend it.
By no means has the whole year been bad.
2023 was the year Liam the cat came to live with me and he has been both a comfort and joy.
The joy is made fuller by knowing that he came because his former owners knew I needed him after my dear friend Smokey died in April.
They cared enough to help me and they did.
As always,the givers are ebven more wonderful than the gift.
2023 was the year when knowing Jesus more than theology became an obsession that has deepened my faith in countless ways.
I don’t major on the minors anymore…it’s really all about Jesus.
I’m still learning…and that for me, equates to still being alive.
It also means I was wrong about some things before I learned new ones…so I’m learning to hold things with an open hand.
2024 is full of fearsome change and uncertainty…but I know that Jesus is with me and will never leave or forsake me…in some way it will be a happy new year.
What does 2023 mean to you in retrospect?
What are you looking forward to in 2024?
Biggest thing of 2023 was chronic cervical vertigo showing up on January 1. Gives me fits of imbalance along with some peripheral neuropathy. In March I started preaching sitting down. Age (64) finally catching up with me. A lot of exercise and physical therapy helps. Still, a lot of good things this past year. But as 2023 comes to a close, my wife is down in California to sit at her mom’s bedside in hospice. Dementia reaching its final stage. She left 2 days before Christmas so that changed a few plans. But she is doing great at blessing, honoring, and comforting her mom. That’s the most important thing.
Just another near death experience after two the year before. Hopefully next year will be better.
At least I’m finally fully retired, but still working harder than ever. Go figure.
2023 is only July 22 at 11:02 am. It’s when my wife died unexpectedly from sepsis. Absolutely everything immediately changed. Like you, 2024 is fearsome and uncertain change. I don’t know what will happen to my son. I don’t know what will happen to me. I don’t see things to look forward to. I hope to get into a sobriety work program to start rebuilding a life for my son.
I hope God has my back. When I think I have hit rock bottom, I discover I have not. I wonder if God wants me to see further into the depths of what can be rock bottom. My prayers have changed into necessities, literally to survive. I have a backpack and some clothes, but winter is coming, I will need more. My prized possession is this free “Obama phone” that I am typing this out on right now. Its an Android…
The temperature is 22 degrees, but the sun is unobstructed and I have found a spot this morning where I can sit in it. I have one small bag of goldfish crackers and some water, which is a pretty good day. I walked 3 miles this morning to clear my head from a violent night at the shelter. New Years Eve will be another holiday that is utter pain. Christmas was the worst. The worst.
2023 is one for the record books. May it die and rot.
2023 was a good year. I enjoy my job and the ministries I’m involved in at my church. I do have concerns about my family, but I can’t fix them and I don’t want to get sucked into all the drama due to their poor choices. 2024 looks about the same-loving and serving God.
PH,
Age does present some nasty challenges, doesn’t it?
If I had a brick and mortar church I’d be done…just can’t stand up that long.
I’m beginning to believe death is a gift for those with advanced dent…
JD,
You’ve made it through some hard stuff…perhaps it will be all blessed from her on out.
Reuben,
I hope God has your back in a way that you can look back and see it.
Right now I’m praying he gets you off the streets you can move forward and become what you want to be.
You know I love you as do many here….
Linn,
I need your attitude…I’m glad you’re here.
You and Felix are a gift.
While I have had a rough 2023 especially with my health. I have a whole set of family challenges with my children and siblings. I have worried more, slept less, and cried more tears this year than I have my whole life. I feel more pain than ever before, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally often for others because I can sense just how fragile things are all around us.
But then I come here and see the fragility (though it is co-mingled with hope). Wow! My heart breaks after reading these posts especially Rueben’s. I realize that all I can do is offer up prayers of desperation for others and myself. I think I am getting better at that.
May God be gracious and merciful to us all. Comfort, lead, and lift up Rueben, JD, PH, Alan, Michael, and anyone else, including myself, who needs your active presence in their life. Please Lord grant us pockets of joy and respite in ways that only you can do. Somehow how in the midst of it all let us glorify you. Amen.
And think I will go pray/cry now and try to to cut my hand off with the miter saw.
Shawn,
I’m glad you’re here among us…we’re openly broken, but we’re not lying about life or God.
I do have hope…because it’s the best choice.
Michael,
I have been reading about other people’s years, and I have nothing to complain about. I have had hard years (several in a row between 1999-2005 please ) but the last few have not been traumatic at all. I thank God for that because the hard ones will come.
It may be because my understanding of Scripture accepts that we all go through suffering. Romans 8:28ff lets me know that suffering with a purpose is part of the Christian life. Then, I have a choice to tough it out on my own with my misery and resentment, or trusting God to get me through. I find that trusting God is always the better alternative.
Damn. Hang in there, Michael!
Phil,
You’ve been through worse…it’ll all work out.
May God bless and help Reuben, and everyone else on this blog.