From One PFM Survivor To The Others

“A call to KEEP fighting

 To the survivor 

Your still surviving even though you may not be thriving

You no longer have to listen to what they say

You get to choose this day

 

 

You may look back and be reminded of the pain

You feel your life is now stained

But breathe in this present moment, you are safe 

Look at the horizon, let the wind touch your skin

HE is not mad. You are forgiven of all your sin

Freedom is now real, but let this take you farther than how you feel

The emotions are all over, the depression is current.

It’s okay to accept that reality is NOW.

You aren’t any of those lies, even though Satan is trying to keep them up, even without the disguise

But it’s not the real you. You have been made new

“Trust” is a common Christian word but a hard concept 

Don’t trust anyone but Him

That alone is hard to say. I don’t really believe the truth I speak, but I want to.

Keep wanting to want

Don’t stop fighting even though you feel your drowning

Sit in silence and just be

You don’t have to force the scripture or immerse yourself in a new community…

unless you want; do what you want. 

No one can say whether your right or wrong, and if they do, it’s before HIM you stand

Let the Spirit be your comforter and counselor.

I know… His voice is silent right now

His guidance seems lacking

His presence no longer powerful as it once was

But this is where real faith and the real YOU is tested

Are you upon the Solid Rock? Or upon the crumbling ground?

Remember Joseph, Job, David, and all that they endured. Remember the miracles in your own life. 

It’s okay to be triggered

But don’t grow numb

Push into this storm and the One who will get you through it 

 

I don’t want anyone to tell me to trust or go to church

I’d rather just tell everyone to shut up and let me just sit… 

Sit in silence, sit in “worship,” sit and let my experience and knowledge of God become renewed

Re-learn His character as a baby infant

Re-learn His attributes as my true Shepherd

I trigger myself with these words, but I know it’s necessary for me to continue speaking truth

I know I need to hear it, even if I don’t believe it

God doesn’t hate me

He isn’t screaming or angry

 

His rage isn’t upon you dear Child

His love is abundant and this is where you get to truly learn what grace is

You get to be saved by the Savior

Yes, we were victims. Yes, we suffered 

But God is still God

Never has changed in love for you and I.

Never has HE forsaken us even though we’ve mentally and physically forsaken Him in these last two months.

Take ahold of this present moment and remember 

No one is telling you how to live

No one is telling you who God is

He’s yours and you are His

Now let truth radiate around you

Eventually it will get better… at least that’s what I’ll continue to tell myself 

You are a survivor. But if you lose hope and hold onto the anger and pain, the man who once controlled you still has that power, so what have you gained?

In your time and in His grace, you will be able to let go

But work through it, ask for help, reach up and out

You are not alone

Your a survivor who now has lessons for life

Lessons to be watchful, lessons to keep the rest of your days

It’s hard now, but don’t lose hope

You still have a family, one of the greatest blessings of it all, all around the world. 

A community always willing to encourage and lift up

So please, don’t give up 

Your a survivor and so am I, so may we learn to let the past die

Live right now, a new life on earth

But remember, you apart of the re-birth 

Heaven is your home… This eternal perspective will keep you, so stop standing alone.”