I’m so tired and sore, I wish I could sleep all day. Of course, that would just make it worse. On the other hand, I’m grateful for God’s grace and mercy.
CK,
I hear you about being tired and sore but in my case sleep might be helpful. I don’t always “act appropriately” or in a “Christian manner” with my ever-increasing limitations and range of motion (my shoulder and arm). However, at the same time I have never been more acutely aware of God’s grace and mercy especially evidenced within His created order. Never have the birds sung as clearly or flowers bloomed so vibrantly as they have when I realize the shadow’s length is shortening and I have less time here than I have been here. All things seem to point towards the glorious day when faith becomes reality, and all things are made new. While I am looking forward to that day I am still hoping He has something left for me before I die. While I don’t have the whole list of ailments below I sometimes feel like Frankenstein’s monster or at least an continued experimentation of such. I guess the idea is the tension between the diminishing of certain faculties and the desire to still be useful to and bring glory to God.
Wooden planks for arms
and a cold black stone
for a heart
some call it a monster
and others praise it
as work of art
Is it true what they say:
that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
It sure doesn’t seem that way
because all I’m getting is gray and older
I limp around
my back is not what it used to be
I look into the mirror
is that really me staring back at me?
Is it true what they say:
that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
It sure doesn’t seem that way
because all I am is getting gray
and I keep on getting older
Clunky steel rods for legs
and corroded mesh fibers for lungs
In my younger days I kept fighting it off
but it seems my song has already been sung
Is it true what they say:
that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
It sure doesn’t seem that way
because all I am is getting gray
and I keep on getting older
Some how the final lines did not copy with the rest of them:
And I’m still hoping I have something to offer
And I think I still have something left to give before I die
The days of my youth have come and past
I don’t feel like I used to time goes so fast
But I’m still hoping there is something left
I think I have something left to give before I die
Shawn, I don’t have your word-smithing abilities, but I feel every word of what you’ve written. Thanks for sharing. Keeping you in prayer. Think I’ll go listen to some Rachmaninov.
There’s an article in the New York Times Opinion section by David French with the heading ‘ The Day My Old Church Cancelled Me Was A Very Sad Day’. I didn’t provide a link because there is a pay wall. I subscribed to the NY Times just to see David French’s regular contributions there. The article might be of interest to some readers here. It is sad, I should warn you.
This is sickening and nauseating. Glad French and his family found a better church. Shame on the PCA for how they handled it (or more accurately, how they mishandled it).
I have an uber conservative friend who’a always trying to fob off old World magazines on me. It’s the same crowd as the PCA. No thanks.
Duane, thank you for the link about Moltmann. I did try and read one of his books once. Don’t know if any of his works are more readable/profound than any of his others ..
I had what felt like a heart attack Sunday morning about 2:00 am. Turns out it is a condition called pericarditis. So I am stuck in a hospital for a while. Glad I am not dead though…
Thanks for the prayers! I am looking at getting discharged today. I have to take some medication that helps with swelling around the heart. I feel a lot better. They ran every test known to mankind before I was given discharge orders. Haha! My actual heart and arteries are in good shape. It’s just the pericarditis that got me.
FWIW, I had a couple of bouts of viral myocarditis, resulting in heart failure, resulting in hospitalization (one was back in 2017, the other was late last year (maybe a recurrence)). In both cases, I fully recovered with my ejection fraction returning to normal levels. Of course it means I am on various BP drugs for the rest of my life it looks like.
I have been on BP medication for years, but it seems it just generally runs high. One thing they did determine with all the tests and scans they did was that my heart and arteries are in good shape. Through the hospital stay, I was averaging around 137 over 88. Something they were not concerned with. It was the silver lining of the whole scare. My heart is pretty normal.
They did a cardiac cath on me and my arteries were fine as well. As I did not have any of the classical lifestyle choices common to most heart failure, my cardiologist back in 2017 realized it was due to something else.
Different subject:
This is the most balanced message I’ve heard re: The Kingdom of God v. The Kingdom of the world. It puts politics in its proper perspective. It’s almost an hour long, but well-worth the time, in my opinion.
My church is Postmillenial, Calvinist. I can’t hack it. The less I go to church nowadays the better I pray. That is not good because I fear the trick lies in slow deception.
It’s all yours today…
First
I’m so tired and sore, I wish I could sleep all day. Of course, that would just make it worse. On the other hand, I’m grateful for God’s grace and mercy.
Praying for your recovery, CK…I know it’s tough.
Second…
CK,
I hear you about being tired and sore but in my case sleep might be helpful. I don’t always “act appropriately” or in a “Christian manner” with my ever-increasing limitations and range of motion (my shoulder and arm). However, at the same time I have never been more acutely aware of God’s grace and mercy especially evidenced within His created order. Never have the birds sung as clearly or flowers bloomed so vibrantly as they have when I realize the shadow’s length is shortening and I have less time here than I have been here. All things seem to point towards the glorious day when faith becomes reality, and all things are made new. While I am looking forward to that day I am still hoping He has something left for me before I die. While I don’t have the whole list of ailments below I sometimes feel like Frankenstein’s monster or at least an continued experimentation of such. I guess the idea is the tension between the diminishing of certain faculties and the desire to still be useful to and bring glory to God.
Wooden planks for arms
and a cold black stone
for a heart
some call it a monster
and others praise it
as work of art
Is it true what they say:
that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
It sure doesn’t seem that way
because all I’m getting is gray and older
I limp around
my back is not what it used to be
I look into the mirror
is that really me staring back at me?
Is it true what they say:
that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
It sure doesn’t seem that way
because all I am is getting gray
and I keep on getting older
Clunky steel rods for legs
and corroded mesh fibers for lungs
In my younger days I kept fighting it off
but it seems my song has already been sung
Is it true what they say:
that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
It sure doesn’t seem that way
because all I am is getting gray
and I keep on getting older
Lyrics by Gideon’s Sword [me]
In a couple of hours, I will move my mom to memory care.
Then I will move Liam and I into our new home…new for me, a return home for Liam.
I haven’t processed any of this emotionally…that will have to wait until the work is done.
Shawn,
Well said…praying for you as well.
Some how the final lines did not copy with the rest of them:
And I’m still hoping I have something to offer
And I think I still have something left to give before I die
The days of my youth have come and past
I don’t feel like I used to time goes so fast
But I’m still hoping there is something left
I think I have something left to give before I die
Michael,
Thanks! More importantly I hope things go as well as they can go (and even better). Today’s troubles… I am praying for you as well.
Thank you, Michael. Such an important day for you. Praying that God guides it all, and you feel His presence when you’re ready to process it.
Shawn, I don’t have your word-smithing abilities, but I feel every word of what you’ve written. Thanks for sharing. Keeping you in prayer. Think I’ll go listen to some Rachmaninov.
MIchael,
Here is something that you might amusing and add a bit of cheer (especially if you are fan of Queen):
R’as al Ghul,
If Queen sounded anything like Jerry Lee Lewis, then he might be a fan.
R aG, that’s hilarious! Especially the meowing and mewling in the background. Thanks for the Friday night laugh.
CK and Shawn,
To quote the great philosopher Indiana Jones, “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”
Haha! The center top cat, in Brian May’s position, looks eerily like what a Brian May-cat combo would look like!
Remembering Jurgen Moltmann, 1926-2024
https://martycenter.org/sightings/the-fullness-of-life-remembering-jrgen-moltmann
There’s an article in the New York Times Opinion section by David French with the heading ‘ The Day My Old Church Cancelled Me Was A Very Sad Day’. I didn’t provide a link because there is a pay wall. I subscribed to the NY Times just to see David French’s regular contributions there. The article might be of interest to some readers here. It is sad, I should warn you.
This is sickening and nauseating. Glad French and his family found a better church. Shame on the PCA for how they handled it (or more accurately, how they mishandled it).
I have an uber conservative friend who’a always trying to fob off old World magazines on me. It’s the same crowd as the PCA. No thanks.
Duane, thank you for the link about Moltmann. I did try and read one of his books once. Don’t know if any of his works are more readable/profound than any of his others ..
bob1
The Crucified God…
I had what felt like a heart attack Sunday morning about 2:00 am. Turns out it is a condition called pericarditis. So I am stuck in a hospital for a while. Glad I am not dead though…
Rueben, glad you are still with us. Stay strong and get well brother.
Sorry I misspelled you name Reuben.
Rueben, dang! That sounds brutal man. Glad it wasn’t a heart attack, but I’m sure that was terrifying. Heal up., buddy. Thankful you are still here.
Josh and Reuben,
Pericarditis is pretty serious (it is an inflammation/infection of the membrane (pericardium) that surrounds the heart).
https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/pericarditis/what-is-pericarditis
Dang Reuben! Glad you’re getting care. Stepping up the prayers for you.
Reuben, I had that once and it was pretty awful.
Reuben, praying for a full recovery.
Reuben,
Been praying for you all morning…try to rest and we’ll all pray for a speedy recovery…
Thanks for the prayers! I am looking at getting discharged today. I have to take some medication that helps with swelling around the heart. I feel a lot better. They ran every test known to mankind before I was given discharge orders. Haha! My actual heart and arteries are in good shape. It’s just the pericarditis that got me.
Reuben,
Good to hear…take your meds and take it easy for a bit…
Good to know, Reuben. Rest well.
Reuben,
FWIW, I had a couple of bouts of viral myocarditis, resulting in heart failure, resulting in hospitalization (one was back in 2017, the other was late last year (maybe a recurrence)). In both cases, I fully recovered with my ejection fraction returning to normal levels. Of course it means I am on various BP drugs for the rest of my life it looks like.
R’as al Ghul,
I have been on BP medication for years, but it seems it just generally runs high. One thing they did determine with all the tests and scans they did was that my heart and arteries are in good shape. Through the hospital stay, I was averaging around 137 over 88. Something they were not concerned with. It was the silver lining of the whole scare. My heart is pretty normal.
I was pregnant when I had it so I couldn’t take any medications.
Xenia, that’s horrifying. I seriously thought I was a goner prior to medication. It just kept getting worse and worse.
Reuben,
They did a cardiac cath on me and my arteries were fine as well. As I did not have any of the classical lifestyle choices common to most heart failure, my cardiologist back in 2017 realized it was due to something else.
I was surprised that they found nothing wrong. I have eaten enough cheese burgers to become one!
Different subject:
This is the most balanced message I’ve heard re: The Kingdom of God v. The Kingdom of the world. It puts politics in its proper perspective. It’s almost an hour long, but well-worth the time, in my opinion.
https://youtu.be/zks2IecD2qE?si=oc41Ihcg8CeDYnB9
My church is Postmillenial, Calvinist. I can’t hack it. The less I go to church nowadays the better I pray. That is not good because I fear the trick lies in slow deception.