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8 Responses

  1. Reuben says:

    I contemplated whether or not to write this.

    I woke up at 1 this morning. The first thing on my mind was I am at that stage of grief that I wonder if I will ever find love again. I wandered, looked at Facebook, watched some music videos, drank a ton of coffee, not able to contemplate anything but that. Being together with someone has become something that I miss immensely. Like immeasurably. It makes me terribly sad even thinking about it.

    I finally calmed down to the point that I could take a nap. I dreamed (don’t laugh) that I was on an adventure with Doctor Who, Tom Baker of course, being my favorite Doctor. I don’t remember the dream much, but we were fighting some evil creature. At the end, having defeated the creature, we sat down to rest. We laughed about the adventure and he got real quiet, and motioned to me to come close. I came close, and he whispered into my ear, “be patient.” He winked in the typical Tom Baker fashion, and I immediately was brought to tears, with the thoughts of my morning flooding back in force. I said “that’s hard!” He said in the same whisper, “I know.” He winked again and smiled. I woke up.

    Not 5 minutes later, I read a quote on Michael’s Facebook page.

    “a blessing for when things don’t add up

    Blessed are you who say:
    This did not add up.
    I had hoped these choices I made,
    the life I tried so hard to pick,
    would add up to something
    Meaningful.

    But now I’m left
    without many choices at all.

    Left wondering… did I pick right?
    Did I waste my days?
    What should I have done differently?

    This limited life is
    what it means to be human.

    In our failures and bad, bad math.
    In our best intentions and hardest work,
    In our waylaid hopes and far off dreams.

    In the love that is never ever
    too late to give or receive.

    Maybe ‘success’ and ‘happiness’
    can mean something different now.
    On the other side of a life changed.

    Where minutes become moments.
    And there will never be enough
    sunsets or handholds or jokes shared.

    But there is never ever too much love.”

    Total summary of my grief right now.

    Gos speaks in mysterious ways.

  2. Michael says:

    Reuben,

    This is excellent…God speaks to us in a way we can hear Him…sounds like you heard Him to me…

  3. Kevin H says:

    Reuben,

    It sure seems as if God is finding ways to speak to you. Treasure them, even within all the hurt and grief. Hang in there, and yes, be patient. 🙂

  4. pstrmike says:

    I have dreams most nights. Some are vivid and I remember, others I forget. And yes, I believe God speaks to us in those dreams, and at times uses them to move us on to something total different than what we thought the dream was saying to us…..

  5. Reuben says:

    Mike, all I know is that the end of that dream was so precise and targeted that I was floored. Every feeling and thought was there as real as this.

    I don’t put much into dreams, but this was far too real.

    I spoke to my therapist today, he said he doesn’t put too much into dreams, but that working through my pain and grief before getting into another relationship is paramount.

  6. pstrmike says:

    “all I know is that the end of that dream was so precise and targeted that I was floored”.

    Been there. I deleted A lengthy Paragraph sharing my experience because I don’t want to interpose it upon you. I would just say hold it close.

  7. London says:

    Hi. My FB account got hacked last night. If you get anything from me, don’t respond. They completely took over my account. I’ll tell you if/when I open a new account.
    Trying to let people know in case they try something weird.

  8. Michael says:

    London,

    That’s really frustrating…keep us posted.

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