Participation Required: Where Were You? What Has Changed?
I was at home. I had gotten up and decided I had better call the senior pastor to discuss an issue. I don’t even remember what it was now. He said, “What are you talking about? Are you watching the news?” I turned on CNN about 10 seconds later to see video of a plane hitting the side of a building with such ferocity that fire balls poured out everywhere. Not minutes later, cameras turned to see the first tower collapsing. There was dust and smoke, people running, panic in the news reporters voices. I was still on the phone when the pastor said, “My brother works in tower one. I have to get ahold of people, but the phones are all tied up.”
I was glued to the TV for days, probably like most.
There are levels of grief, they seem to be different for everyone. My reaction was rage. As soon as it became evident that this was an attack, I wanted blood. My only objective at that point was to see nukes flying across the American sky, headed to seas of sand, raining death on tens of millions. I wanted Armageddon. I am ashamed to admit that.
It has been a long time. Much has changed. Now I fear war. I don’t want to see anyone die. In light of current events, I find it almost impossible to justify more killing. Everything has changed. The only thing that remains the same in 12 years is my wife, and my savior. Theology, vocation, parenthood, even the cars we drive.
I look back at that day now as a turning point. It was, and will be for millions of people. My son never saw the images, he was not even alive, but he will suffer the effects for the rest of his life.