TGIF
“Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.” (Job 13:15 ESV)
There’s a little acknowledged truth about trusting in God…that being, that sometimes it feels like it’s going to kill you.
By the time you read this I’ll be in an airport frantically trying to get one more wave goodbye in to Trey.
He’ll be getting on a plane for Germany in hope of being healed from a disease thats turned our lives upside down for years..
He’ll be gone for three months.
The longest we’ve ever been apart is one week.
I feel like I’m gonna die from grief and he isn’t even gone yet.
He ‘s in better hands than mine, but that is little comfort.
He asked me this morning why he can’t get well here…I asked God the same question.
I asked Him why it took so many years to even know what ailed the boy.
I asked why he has to be somewhere beyond my ability to help, encourage, calm, and comfort him.
I asked Him how much pain He really thinks an old man can bear.
There was no discernible response.
Still, I know that this is the will of God.
I have no choice but to either trust God or give in to despair.
He’s given me no other options.
It’s one or the other, not multiple choice.
It’s 50-50 at this point.
It usually is when the pain is real and hope must come from outside yourself.
I’m going to trust Him even if it kills me.
I believe, help my unbelief.
Make your own application…
Michael,
Stay strong, brother.
Your boy is going to make it through this.
I don’t know what I’d do if Caleb was out of reach for three months.
As much as we hate these situations, God seems to always take care of them.
I’m praying for you. (Darn, I said to myself I wasn’t going to use that phrase. I was just going to pray)
Grace, and Peace, DavidH
Michael,
There’s so much I’d like to say about how your post impacted me. Yet I can think of one, best thing to say, and that phrase I’ll borrow from you:
This. Is. Gold.
Michael,
Over the last few years I have seen so many godly people go through hell–still going through it–like what you are going through now–it just SUCKS!!!!. Just so hard. I find myself weeping to God and asking why so many times. I know all the theological truth to “apply” to the situation. But that doesn’t ease the pain, dispair and confusion. Thank you God you are our refuge, even when it doesn’t feel like it. When ‘Life’ yells in my face, “ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FAIR” I shake my head and my shoulder slump and I cry. What you and your family are going through is INSANELY HARD, wish it were different for you and yours. Love you brother and will be pray extra for you all
for most of us it takes a long time to realize just where we are – we know where we’ll end up (praises to God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit) – we’ll reach Eternity with battle scars, even with the armor of Ephesians 6:11-18
the devil HAS been defeated, yes, but it is an accomplished fact that is not yet fulfilled (apologies to those theologians who have a bit of a Christian Science bent 🙂 )
sorry about the platitudinous pontification… still working the kinks out of my New Year’s resolution to not do this…
God keep Michael, Trey and company close and safe – praying that Trey grows in a good way as well as heals thru this
Michael,
I’m sorry you and Trey have to go through this. It’s so easy to give in to despair when we can’t see the whys and wherefores of things. We have such a limited view. I encourage you, brother, one day at a time, one moment at a time. I offer you this prayer.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
(Although known most widely in its abbreviated form above,
the entire prayer reads as follows…)
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
May He bless you with His peace, Michael.
Michael,
What a difficult situation, I admire your transparency. Don’t know what else to say but I’ll be praying for strength and healing for all involved.
hang in there Michael.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Ps 23:4
“God will often deliver us in a manner that seems, initially, to destroy us.” — Daniel Defoe
I’m sorry, my friend. I’m sorry for this separation from your son, his illness (and Johnnie’s) and all the events leading up to this scenario.
I knew you were on the road and have been in much prayer for all these matters, travel safety, emotional pain and for physical healing for Trey (and Johnnie). This morning I woke up wondering if you were home safely after so much driving and what time Trey and company would arrive in Germany…. all very much on my mind, heart and prayers.
Please keep us posted.
Praying for your boys and for you. Sending love & a hug, Chris
Right there with ya.
In about 15 minutes I’m headed off to the airport to pick up my brother who is flying in so the two of us can attend my moms first oncologist appointment.
It has been an incredibly stressful couple months with a work project “going live” 2 days before she had MAJOR surgery to remove what we had been told (twice) was a non-malignant cyst on her pancreas.
14 hour surgery the I flew out the next day to return to my project.
A few weeks later, after her release from hospital, we find out that they found cancer but no lymph node involvement.
Wound site infection has delayed the trip to oncologist till today.
Last night I found out the project I was to roll into next didn’t get funded by the board of directors, so my last day at the client (for now) is end of the month.
Feeling pretty stressed and pretty much barely able to hold it together in some meetings etc.
Also, have only told a few people what’s going on cause my mom really just want to keep it to family and close friends. That, to me at least, makes things more stressful cause there’s not many people to talk to in times of extra stress because you don’t want to overwhelm those limited people.
All any of us can really do, is hang on and ride the next wave, whatever that is…
Wow…this is rough. Much love to you, my friend.
Btw- the project thing is fine, it was just a bit of an unexpected surprise for everyone.
London, Yikes!! When it rains, it pours. Hang in there.
Praying for you and Trey Michael.
What Shaun in #15 wrote. No platitudes today, just empathy and the encouragement I receive from reading your story.
Michael…praying for your pain in separation, but also praying that this would be a time of healing for you…
amen, Lord to Linnea’s petition … for London also, Lord
I’m sorry Michael.
I don’t mean to hijack michaels thread.
Just returned from cancer center where we got great news! No chemo or radiation needed at this time. Just scans and blood work every few months.
Could not be more relieved!
I’m home.
Thank you for all the kind words and prayers.
It’s going to take me a while to get my arms around this one…so please forgive me in advance if things run a bit strangely here for awhile.
I’m just going to tell you the truth…I’m about as wrecked as a man can get.
I’ll get better.
London, my heart and prayers are with you and your family as well.
God be with you all.
London,
That the first time I’ve smiled all day.
Nothing here that matters really belongs to me…I’m glad to share the space with you all.
#20- wasn’t that good news?
Michael, relieved to see that you’re home safe and sound – rest well tonight
I just heard that El Chapo got caught.
I’m praying that you continue to hear hope’s whispers.
Michael –
I can so identify with your pain and concern for Trey’s health and your family traveling the long distance away from you for such a long period of time.
My prayers continue for complete healing, travel mercies and safety. Also God’s peace to carry you moment to moment.
Over the years, God has allowed difficult health trials in my son’s life – circumstances that have literally brought me to the floor at times.
Anxiety, doubt, fear – I know these well – wrestling all as I barley cling to faith.
Yet, over the years, I’ve begun to see a thread of strength being woven into my being.
I see a correlation between gut-wrenching trials in my own life and the fact I’m not in control of the outcome. Which forces me to pray and ask others for prayer also as we ask, seek, knock – the power of prayer is amazing. I’m always aware that God’s will be done and the hope I have that He will answer my prayers in accordance to His perfect will.
To conclude and hopefully encourage – one such prayer finally answered after 6 years of asking. You remember how this PP community lifted my son in prayer during the season he was plagued with grand mal seizures (due to scar tissue build-up after the successful retraction of a brain tumor).
My fear as a mom was always the concern he would forget to take his medications when he went off to college, thereby placing him in harm’s way of these dangerous episodes. So my prayer was that God would heal him, rewire his brain, and heal my son completely.
One day my son said he was ready to go off the meds. He had weaned himself off to a half pill a day. His doctor gave permission, but said there were no guarantees. It could be very dangerous.
The day I dropped him off at college was his last day of taking his meds. He has been seizure free for a year and a half now.
To God all the Glory!