TGIF
Chester can’t come home again.
He hadn’t been home in a couple of days and that was odd…he’s usually at the food dish early and often, then sleeps in my chair overnight.
He snores like an old man…
When he didn’t come loping and howling across the street to greet me yesterday, I was already worried.
Maybe he had gotten in trouble roaming about the neighborhood, maybe… he had been taken to the pound.
I would just go down and bail my bad boy out of the kitty slammer and bring him home where he belongs.
I don’t handle the pound well…I get too emotional about the animals.
One cat asked me to take him home when we walked through the door, another was brought in having been torn apart by a dog.
By the time the volunteer came to help us, I was already distraught.
It took me five minutes to fumble through a description of Chester before I realized I had about three dozen pictures of him on my phone.
The wonderfully kind volunteer squeezed my shoulder…”he’s here”.
I was praising the Lord out loud and crying for joy when the same lady interrupted me.
“Sir, you need to know that Chester is very sick. He’s actually terminally ill.”
Chester has FIV, which the lady (now holding my hand with both of her own) informed me was the feline equivalent of AIDS.
“He might last a few years, or you might come home next week and find that he’s passed away”.
I told her that in any case he would die at home with his family…I just wanted to take him home…now.
“Sir…this cat can never, ever, leave your house again. If he goes outside and bites another cat, that cat will be infected. He must stay inside”.
I knew then that Chester would never come home again.
All our cats are strays and they all roam freely in and out of the house…Chester needs room and he would be miserable cooped up in my small space.
I couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t get out…so my duty to the other cats in the neighborhood and those who love them is to leave my dear friend behind.
This knowing crushed my heart.
The volunteer said they don’t normally adopt out FIV cats…unless they are special.
Chester, she said, is very special.
Yes…yes, he is.
So…sometime in the next couple of days I will be led back to a room full of cages to say goodbye to my friend for the last time.
My prayer is that I am able to communicate to him how much he is loved and how much he meant to me as he shared part of my pilgrimage with me.
I pray that he knows how thankful I am that he trusted me to be his person.
My God, I pray that someone else realizes how special he is and gives him a huge home with a “catio” to romp in.
I am inconsolable.
This world is not my home…but my Lord has gone to prepare a place for me…and Chester, and all my departed fur friends…with a catio.
Maranatha…
Postscript:
A word about the folks in the county animal shelter.
While we were waiting (and I was becoming visibly unglued) one of the volunteers came up to comfort me.
“We’re here for all of these cats and we all love them”.
‘We do everything possible to care for them”.
A big, gruff looking, old codger came up and put his arm around my shoulders…”don’t be ashamed of your tears…”
“We should probably leave the dog tour for another day, though” he joked.
He thanked me for praying for the injured cat…
It struck me that when I think about these folks in the future I will remember their love.
They will be known for their love.
I’m sure they have policies and procedures, rules and regulations.
What I will remember is how they treated me and how they treat those creatures they have been given stewardship over.
With love.
I read in a book somewhere that there were places like that….
Make your own application…
Awwww. Dear friend, dear Chester…. a difficult story. So hard to choose the best for him…and other cats…. So thankful that the shelter there is a caring place, exhibiting love for both animals and humans…..
Loved seeing the word Maranatha. Indeed.
How we love our fur kids…. Thank you for giving dear Chester the love and care and choice.
love you
Michael
You already know my thoughts… you and yours are in our prayers.
sorry about your cat Michael.
It also pains me also when I walk through
the shelter!
Ike
I am so sorry.
Dear Michael,
Very sorry to hear that this has happened so close on the heels of your health emergency. I pray you are healing quickly Perhaps it is near to overwhelming for you. I hope not. We have always prayed that God would send true helpers and comforters to you. I am so glad that kindly old man came along side and gave you permission to grieve and cry at that moment. It was the best thing anyone could do at the time.
We were so poor at times, we could not even afford to keep a pet. Once I was an adult with a child, we got a cat. She was saved from being euthanized and, though she was rather a picky sort, she was very loyal. When I had to have one of many reparative abdominal surgeries (long story), I remember laying down in pain and sleeping heavily. When I awoke–there she was at my feet looking at me with with her eyes wide open. I could see the worry inside of that furry face. I’ll never forget it. I had the same experience with another cat during other health trials. He was a giant cotton ball and wonderful to cuddle in hard times. I was a bit on the old side when they both passed, but I blubbered like a child. I never knew that losing loyal fur friends would hurt so much. It does.
May God give you hope and comfort amidst the true grief you are now feeling.
May joy come in the morning.
I’m so sorry too.
Michael,
I’m so sorry for what has happened to Chester and what you’re going through. Bless your heart and may God bring you some measure of comfort.
For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision, Michael.
Our Mr. Noodles is an inside-only cat because our last cat was one expensive Vet emergency after the other until he finally received the injury that marked his demise. We still miss Peaches. So we got Mr. Noodles, another big orange cat, who has to stay inside 24/7. He is not a very happy cat, although who can tell with cats…. He’s discontent. He’s never been out except for a few a escapes of short duration. He’s just gonna have to lump it. But Chester is used to roaming and you are right- he would be miserable.
May God’s mercies shine upon the cat Chester.
Oh Michael, one of our beloved cats, Howard passed from feline AIDS. Terrible memory…but what a blessing Chester has in you. Isn’t God so very good that He thought of these sweet animals to be our companions? Unconditional love in fur. You hang in there. ?
Thank you all for your kindness and understanding and sharing your own stories and hearts.
For whatever reason, I’m not handling this very well and I’m sure some will think this grief pathetic.
I’m ok with that.
The way I cope is to write, so I’m trying to cope the only way I know how.
God bless you all.
I’m very sorry you are experiencing this pain, brother. I pray your heart will be covered under His mighty wings.
i remember what a dear friend who loved the Lord – like you – said years ago when her long time pet friend had to be put down – a sweet little sprite of a woman and always kind – thru clenched teeth she said with hatred in her voice, “Oh, I hate the devil!”
today, with flood in Texas and Michael’s burden upon burden bearing down him makes the sentiments of the 8th chapter of Romans and that dear friend’s exclamation a reality to me today… come soon, Lord Jesus, indeed
Chester was a blessed cat in a cruel world for a time… remember not even a sparrow falls that God doesn’t see… God keep you, Michael – close and comforted
I am so very sorry, Michael. I grieve with you.
Grief is never pathetic.
You have been through so much the last few years and this deal with Chester just tipped you over the edge of emotion. It’s natural and it is good, though miserable to go through.
It’s easier to cry for another beings pain than it is to cry for our own some times.
Hugs.
I lost my mamma this morning. Of course you would write this way today… thank you. ❤️
I feel your pain brother Michael. My sweet Olivia was taken away by a coyote a few weeks ago along with my neighbors cat.
I have two HIV cats. Both are living well just like my other cats. One is feral the other comes in at night to sleep. My vet said the same thing, keep them indoors. I was told that my HIV cats can often times live longer then otherwise expected. So since there were no major symptoms other than long naps, both cats are alive and still enjoying my forever home until the day they start to suffer.
I am so sorry that your buddy ended up at the pound with this life threatening illness. To grow to love these creatures and to be used to their habits and such is hard to let go of. As weird as it sounds I truly miss Suzie chicken sitting on my big leather chair when I am in it. And I miss her hanging with me when I sit in my Andiron chair under the shade tree in my back yard. I feel your pain brother. Praying for your comfort.
http://shekinahfellowship.blogspot.com/search?q=Suzie+chicken
We can grieve together. It’s kinda always been our way.
Noelle…I’m so sorry.
You know my heart is with you and grieving for and with you…God have mercy.
I was worried when I saw you were trying to get somewhere…I knew then things were not good.
You are much loved my dear friend…
So very sorry, Michael. Praying for mercy and grace in the midst of this.
Noelle…so sorry!! Praying for you this day as well.
Michael,
“It struck me that when I think about these folks in the future I will remember their love.
They will be known for their love.”
…as well as you for your love, my friend.
So sorry for your difficult time. <3
Noelle,
Hoping to make it to CdA before the end of the year.
When I first see you and Jake our hugs will be extra long.
Thinking of you today as well.
Michael, I wish I was more like you.
Noelle, I am so very sorry.
Our hearts, love and prayers go out to you as we grieve with you. May God comfort you and give you peace and strength.
Noelle,
I am so sorry.
London noted, “Grief is never pathetic.” amen
praying for the grieving ones here today, the ones who’ve shared, Michael and Noelle, and the grieving ones who haven’t posted on this thread… God keep all close and comforted…
Michael, I too am sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing with us. Timely for many of us as I too got very bad news about a friend yesterday.
Noelle,
I’m sorry for your loss, and will be praying that the God of all comfort cover you and yours.
“Grief is never pathetic.” That was gold.
Now that I have tears, I feel for you Michael. Those cagey little creatures burrow into our hearts.
Noelle…praying for you and your family.
Michael, prayers are with you as well…
It’s lovely to see a man with a soft heart these days when so many are hardened. Although I’m a cat owner, when I visit the animal shelter, it’s usually a puppy/dog that I’m tempted to take home — they tend to be so expressive. I’m an animal lover — my favorite videos on Youtube are those where humans rescue animals from snares they’ve fallen into due to thoughtless people leaving pitfalls in their way. Perhaps Chester left knowing he was dying — when my cat (name Chester oddly enough) was dying, he didn’t want to be around us – he hid under the house.
So sorry to hear about your good feline friend, Michael. God bless him with a great home, please.
Paige was right, there was a problem with one of Your little ones Michael! I am so sorry….was praying for you all day yesterday will continue to pray for your broken heart. love you big brother. Praying for your Chester as well.
Angel voice, Noelle, I am so sorry for your loss of your Mamma…..Lots of love. l will be praying for you and your family.
Michael,
My heart goes out to you, and so do my prayers. I’ve felt drawn to Chester ever since you started writing about him, so this is sad news. So sorry , my friend. The love, kindness, and compassion you have lavished upon him have been a great example.
Father, why do You allow our hearts to be broken, our emotions to be ripped wide open? I ask that You comfort Michael and Noelle with Your piece that passes all understanding. that You surround them with Your grace and mercy. Hold them as they cry. bless even surfer51 as he has lost little Olivia to a wild animal in the past few weeks.
Show Your mercy strong to my friends and family here as they grieve in their own way and with You by their side.. Show them Your love for them. Show them Your strength. Show them Your mercy. please comfort them.
surfer51, so sorry to hear about your little Olivia.