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41 Responses

  1. Paul Coughlin says:

    I appreciate you.

  2. Michael says:


    Likewise, my friend…

  3. pstrmike says:

    Sobering. Thanks Michael.

  4. Michael says:

    Thank you, pstrmike…

  5. ( |o )====::: says:

    Your friend probably held you in their heart even without reconciliation because that’s what we flawed humans do. Be kind to yourself and treasure your friend and the blessed memories that you know would have made you both smile. 🙏🏼

  6. Michael says:

    Thank you G-man…all will be well, someday…

  7. Dave says:

    Hang in there! First, I am very sorry for your loss. It is hard to bear and not to be able to grieve with the family.

    Second, you are a blessing to many, perhaps most of all because of your humanity. I know it is an exceedingly rare post in which your words are not either enlightening or comforting. You give me great hope!! Thank you.

  8. Michael says:


    Thank you for the encouragement…it means much.

  9. sarahmorgan says:

    In the past three months I lost both my last surviving parent as well as a dearly-loved colleague, and these events give me even more of a laser-sharp focus on the big things that matter most…and seeing so many people around me who are ignorant of, or wilfully ignoring, these big things in favor of chasing all of the little divisive things in the world adds to my silent grief.

    There are still those of us who appreciate your willingness to “connect us in our shared humanity, in our common sins and fears while hoping to end up in the faith”. Thank you for offering this gift. May God give you consolation and comfort this week.

  10. Michael says:


    My condolences to you for your losses and the painful wisdom gained.

    Thank you for always being an encouragement and may His Spirit bring you comfort and strength.

    You’ve been a gift here…

  11. Officerhoppy says:

    Just a question: I understand your thinking and have been where you are at. But I don’t know that I totally understand why you wouldn’t attend the funeral. Would it not be cathartic for you to attend? Could it not be viewed as a sort of reconciliation between the two of you? Will you, in the future, regret not attending? Would she and God not want you to be free of the guilt you?

    My heart in this post is for you to be free in the mercy and grace of Christ. I am not criticizing you!

  12. Officerhoppy says:

    It sounds to me (and I am probably misreading you) that you are punishing yourself.

  13. LInn says:

    I lost a friend to cancer three years ago. A few years prior we had a falling out, and despite my efforts to apologize, she would not talk to me. Then the cancer was diagnosed. The lines of communication opened slowly, and although we never got back to where we were, it was better than before. There are still so many things I wish could have been resolved, and sometimes I still wake up at night thinking about it. I’ll pray for you as you work through the pain. I did attend the funeral, but there were so many other people there I was just another face. 2 Cor 1:3-5 I do believe God will reveal and resolve all in heaven, but the pain here still lingers.

  14. Michael says:

    This funeral will be attended by people who would not have a clue who I am or why I am there. It is possible that some may know who I am and believe it an offense that I’m there.

    This is their time and place…not mine.

    Conviction is not always a bad thing…if it enables one to avoid such in the future.

  15. Michael says:


    I suspect…hope…that this matter has been resolved in heaven…and it’s another reason to look forward to home.

  16. Duane Arnold says:


    It is a thin veil… thinner than we might ever imagine…

  17. Michael says:


    I believe that…and all it implies…

  18. Duane Arnold says:

    Lord Jesus, whose loving heart was ever touched by the sorrows of others, have mercy upon the souls of the faithful departed, and grant them a place of refreshment, light, and peace whence pain and sorrow and sighing are driven away; and in thy goodness and mercy pardon every sin committed by them in thought, word, and deed; thou who art the resurrection and the life, and who livest and reignest, world without end. Amen.

    St. Augustine’s Prayer Book

  19. Michael says:

    Amen…those words were my guide this morning.

  20. alex says:

    I long for the place, the existence, where Love truly does cover all.
    I believe that there is such a place, such an existence, but we know so little of it, and perhaps doubt its reality.

    Whenever I reflect on the words of Jesus/Bible “the kingdom of God”, “the kingdom of Heaven”, “You are not far from the kingdom of God”, I long to have that fulfilled more in me now.
    I fall so short.

    But I believe in the power of Love and the source of that power, and trust that All Will Be Well.

    Much love to you, Michael. Know that you have helped, and are a help to, me.
    Please know that there is love and trust coming from me to you.

  21. Michael says:


    I believe in that place and in that kingdom as well…and it’s been an honor to be part of your journey toward it.
    Much love to you as well…

  22. Captain Kevin says:

    Michael, my tears and prayers are for and with you. Seems there are still some readers here you can trust with your pain, and I hope you find me one of them. I’ve loved you and your writing for nigh on 20 years now, and you have been an integral part of my discipleship, including dispensing with my former tribalism. Carry on, my beloved brother.

  23. Michael says:


    Thank you, my friend.
    I have been pleasantly surprised by the response today…and it’s been an honor to sail with you over the years.

  24. Muff Potter says:

    Life and human politics are often times cruel Michael, but I surmise that you did the right thing.

  25. Elena says:

    Sorry for your pain Michael 🥺

  26. Dread says:

    May the LORD bless and keep you. Each of us has a similar story. Either we don’t know the way back to our friends or the way is closed. “The sting of death is sin.” Our sin alienates us. “But thanks be to God…”

  27. Michael says:

    Thanks, Muff, thanks, Elena…good to hear from you.

  28. Michael says:


    Some things are not fixable in this life…”we do not see everything in subjection”…but I wish I would have tried.

    I’m not at all sure what I could have done, though…

  29. DavidM says:

    Bless you, Michael, for the thoughts. “We ALL stumble in MANY ways”. And, we often have conflicts that go unresolved in spite of our good intentions to “someday” reconcile. How many times have we heard or read about someone who failed to reconcile with a family member before they passed on? But I think that you paid your respects here in a far more personal and loving way that you maybe could have at the funeral service. I can’t speak for everyone here, but I can say that I have been touched and inspired by your words.

  30. Michael says:


    Thank you my friend.

    You know…part of the problem is that I forget how old I am…and that the future in which I can do things is not as long as it once was…whatever I want to accomplish, needs to be done now…

  31. pslady says:

    Praying for God’s comfort over you Michael.

  32. Anne says:

    May you receive comfort & peace in your grief just as you have comforted so many of us in our times of sorrow.

  33. EricL says:

    Michael, thank you for your years of faithfully speaking into my life and so many others through this website and your books. I know some of your past readers have been alienated too, but please keep writing as clearly as you can and as long as you can for those who remain and those who have newly arrived. You make a difference, my long-distance friend.

  34. Michael says:

    Many thanks to my long time friends pslady, Anne, and our publisher, EricL.

    Thank you all for being here…

  35. Dan from Georgia says:

    Hi Michael,

    I am sorry for your loss and for the years spent apart from her. Your presence here has made a difference in my life as it has with many others, those that have commented above and others out there.

  36. Michael says:

    Thanks, Dan…as always.

  37. Dave Rolph says:

    So sorry for your loss Michael. You expressed what we’ve all experienced in life. Best tributes are when we move forward and do better, inspired by our previous shortcomings. You have been there for so many but you can’t win them all.

  38. Em Wegemer says:

    Dave @12:19
    AMEN ! ! !

  39. Captain Kevin says:

    Dave Rolph in the house!

  40. Michael says:

    Thanks for the kind words, Dave…

  41. JD says:

    Lately I’ve been more focused on the life to come. This life is tragic. The life to come is triumphant.
    As we carry on prayers are going up for you.

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