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33 Responses

  1. dewd4jesus says:

    Wow. To the post and ,….First!

  2. Michael says:

    dewd…thanks…and congrats on your first first. 🙂

  3. dewd4jesus says:

    It’s difficult when this broken world and it’s broken people throw a wrench into the works of how we think things are/ought to be. Very difficult when it’s good people having to make bad decisions about circumstances that are to a large degree out of their control. I don’t know what the whole circumstance was,but sounds like the instructor didn’t have a whole lot of choice financially?

    An opportunity to teach/learn lots of life lessons from at least. That the lessons weren’t necessarily bad because the instructor didn’t completely live up to them. Can possibly even show why some of those lessons are important. But grace and compassion, because none of us fully lives up to whatever code(s)/standards we follow. So then, encouragement of one another when we stumble. Because we may one day find ourselves on the ground, having tripped over of our own blocks on our path. Life is not black and white in this world. I wish it were. But it’s a mess. (Thanks Daniel Fusco) Praise God that He is able to make order out of the chaos.

    I am amazed that your group has done this much so quickly. Well done to all of you.

  4. dewd4jesus says:

    I think it may actually be my second first. But that’s been some time ago. I’m in and out, never comment much. Mostly because I start controversy by not stating the fullness of my views. Because, life’s not black and white. Objectively it is, or is supposed to be. But subjectively in this fallen world, it just doesn’t work out that way.

    And my second first, is almost as funny as the First Third Bank.

  5. Michael says:


    We have some great parents and grandparents…and great kids.
    My job is to let everyone process things their own way and give lots of space and grace for how each individual reacts.
    It’s like live PhxP…and as messy. 🙂

  6. Michael says:

    Grace (inside the church and out) often must wait for the end of the grieving process.
    Like the healing from which it is birthed, it can’t be rushed or demanded.
    I’m learning some old lessons in a new way…

  7. Nonnie says:

    Once trust is broken by someone you have looked up to, trusted, and loved…, that is a hard one to overcome. For me, the only way my bitterness was healed was finally understanding that I am just as broken as the one who hurt me, that as I am forgiven, I am to forgive, and that Jesus has and is making all things new. One day there will be no more tears, no more hurt and no more heartache. For now though, trust is still very difficult for me.

    I’m glad those kids have you there Michael…someone to speak that grace and healing into their lives, through your life.

  8. Al says:

    Welcome to life in the real worlds kids….

  9. dewd4jesus says:

    It is totally an individual process. Each deals with it differently. Our experiences, while having some similarities, are really all quite vastly different. That’s where we as Christians should lead/be different in the world. They’re supposed to know that we are followers of Christ, by our love for each other. And then of course them, they’re our neighbors. Or enemies, that bar got raised a little.

    It’s just the natural course of things. Grace begets grace. As we allow God’s love through grace to be poured out on us, we just naturally pour it out on one another and it just flows out to those we come in contact with. They then have some to give out too. Might take a while to fill them up enough for it to flow again. Someone knocked their glass over.

    How quickly they fill back up depends on how much they tap into the Source. There are many different types of filling stations. Like being thankful that, for whatever reason, you have the right mixture of air to breath (not too much oxygen so the planet doesn’t just catch fire), on a planet that spins just right in a universe(s) to support life. Let alone food, even when not good, and especially when scarce. Or whatever it is that makes you thankful for life in this ecosystem, the diversity of which just amazes. All experience God’s grace to some degree on a daily basis, and are therefore without excuse.

    Whether they want to receive our grace or not, it will still get in. We all are full of holes. Another reason we need constant filling. And I’m not implying forcing ourselves on anyone in any way. Giving space is grace, when that’s what’s needed. Again, all individuals, with individual experiences and therefore differing reactions and needs. That’s what the Church is supposed to be doing. Being so overflowing with His love that it effects the community around it and then they want to know the Source.

    But the system’s infected. And by that, I mean the Church. God’s kingdom. But that’s never surprised me. Every image of the kingdom Jesus gives is one of corruption/unclean/impure. Whether tares, or leaven or whatever. The picture of those who know, but put off or aren’t consecrated to the leading of the Spirit. The 10 virgins. 5 filled with the Spirit. 5 not. Perhaps able to be. All are pure, virgins. All have lamps, able to burn the oil/fuel of the Spirit. But these 5, they’re running low. Have to go get more. They’re unprepared, unconnected, unavailable, ungracious and miss the bus. Oh how important it is to accept His grace, and be filled and alert.

    Praise God though. He has a plan. He knows all of this and how it works out. Those who are His will come to Him. There is always at least a remnant willing to take up the task and forge ahead in the power of the Spirit.

    We should be pointing out error and corruption in our ranks, in love and grace. Jesus did. Called the religious leaders out for the scum they were. Beat a little on the guys taking financial advantage of the worshippers too, literally. Paul chewed on and or warned the churches a good bit in his epistles. Same with Jesus in the letters to the 7 churches. But it’s not the main focus of their ministry. Because evil is overcome with good. Those who desire God will seek Him and find Him. Because He’s right there all along revealing Himself to them. It’s our job to be vessels through which His love can flow in tangible ways in the temporal realm, opening doors for Him to be revealed in Spirit and truth. Then true healing and understanding can begin.

    I’ve babbled long enough. Time for sleep. Since I just put all of you there.

  10. David sloane says:

    Brings new meaning to the money words, “In God we trust.”

    Man or God?

    Man will always fail, that is certain. A wonderful life lesson that Sensi has exemplified for these young people…nothing shocking here to see…move on…

    And this all of you have done. Sensi has done his job well.

  11. Sarah says:

    I think the hardest thing to learn is that it cannot be rushed, and to have patience for the others who may not heal as quickly as we’d like.

    Praying for you guys, and especially for the parents to have wisdom in how their kids are processing all of this. Sounds like you have a great group. Hard, hard lesson to learn early on.

  12. Jim says:

    Losing trust in leaders can be devastating. I think the hardest part for me was a form of self loathing. A lack of trust in myself. “How could I have been so stupid?”. Coming out on the other side, I’m not sure what healing looks like, other than the lack of bitterness. I trust my wife. I trust others in matters where they’ve proven themselves trustworthy, but I’ll never again blindly trust a leader. They may need followers, but I don’t need to be one. I follow no man, while respecting the opinions of many. To me, that’s healing, but others may disagree.

  13. EricL says:

    My preschooler had two teachers bail on him this year (and the newest one has a history of quitting when her own schooling gets too hectic so we worry about that too). Right now, my wife and I just want to get through this school year without our son’s life becoming more unsettled. We now have serious doubts about sending our younger one to this school. It’s a co-op program that looks great as a concept but has been executed terribly due to the lack of a strong director (gone through 3 in three years).

    The worst quitter was the first one this year. She was unhappy with the newest director (felt the woman wasn’t a Christian and so “how could this be a Christian pre-school”) and so she wrote a scathing email to all parents condemning the new director, gave short notice, and then cut off communications with everyone- including parents and co-workers who considered her a friend. What a lousy Christian witness to the kids and parents. She hurt the kids the most- the ones that she pretended to care about…

  14. Xenia says:

    You can be hurt in love and decide never to love again. You can be hurt in the area of trust and decide never to trust again. Love and trust involve risk and sometimes it blows up in our face but love and trust add such a dimension of richness to our lives that to live without either is to live a very bleak and cynical life.

  15. Papias says:

    Excellent post.

    I think that my mistrust of the Church in general and leadership in particular is a big issue for my lack of involvement in chuch today. That, and being a pessimist makes not for a good combination.

    The church we attend believes in tithing. We don’t tithe – we give, but not 10%. We help out with kids church and attend Sunday school and other events, but not to the extent of involvement that we had with CC. No one asks about us if we are not there or invites us to anything. I wonder if anything would change if I were to start tithing? Would we suddenly see an uptick in people being nice to us? And if so, would that validate my impression that the church only cares about you if you are giving?

    Michael – have you guys found another TKD school to attend, or are you guys trying to go at this without an instructor? My daughter goes to Tiger Rock, and unfortunately the closest one to you is in Nevada. 🙁

  16. Jim says:

    I totally agree Xenia, except in romantic love (for me). If something happened to my wife, I’ll be single until I die.

    I trust some people with my life. None of them are pastors. Again, they need followers. I have no need to follow a man.

  17. Xenia says:

    Jim, I agree- if something happens to my husband, I will be single till I die, too. That’s not an example of love betrayed, that’s a continuation of love.

  18. So the question – Is all Tae Kwon Do indicted because of the failure of this leader?

    The comparison seems to fall short in that a failed pastor either indicts The Church or at least a denomination.

    Is there something inherent in the philosophy of Tae Kwon Do that drives leaders to irresponsible behavior?

  19. PP Vet says:

    MN, if you are to any degree a drama queen, it is more than compensated for by both the eloquence and relevance of your non-fiction allegories.

  20. Michael says:

    Thanks PP Vet. 🙂

  21. Michael says:


    I don’t make that blanket indictment on the sport or the church.
    What I am saying is that I am reminded again of how much damage people in positions of trust and authority can do to a whole group of people…and that we can never, never take the extent of that damage lightly.

  22. Michael says:


    We are pretty single minded about getting to the state qualifier for the Junior Olympics in February.
    We want to get through that intact and then I think the whole thing will come apart and we will have to look for a new group…if we decide to continue.

  23. Michael,
    When I read today’s TGIF I immediately thought of this piece from FastCompany which I had bookmarked. I was actually thinking of your & Trey’s experience when I first read it. I hope these principles can be woven into the ancient disciplines & philosophy at your new group.

    6 Habits Of Resilient People

    1. They Build Relationships.
    2. They Reframe Past Hurts.
    3. They Accept Failure.
    4. They Have Multiple Identities.
    6. They Have a Sense of Purpose.

    …and there’s a beautiful photo as the header of the article so take a peek!

  24. Michael says:


    My hope is in believing in the resilience of children…and modeling resilience in front of them instead of what I’m actually feeling… 🙂

  25. Michael says:


    Your timing was perfect… 🙂
    That’s an excellent article!

  26. I like to think this is how God truly works, each of us offering what enriches us.

  27. What’s cool is when there is one person who breaks trust and disappoints there is the one who has been disappointed, who learns and resolves to not repeat the mistake. Humanity learns and evolves because of tough life lessons

  28. Michael says:


    On the other hand…some learn to be untrustworthy to survive.
    It is still a fallen world…

  29. They are few, and always lesser in number, otherwise we would have killed each other off long ago. That truth is what we take comfort in and gives us hope.

  30. We count on the majority to be good, noble, forthright, otherwise none of us would go at a green light

  31. Michael,
    Because not all of your kids and parents are christian, let me share this as well, glean what you can to inspire and influence them as they work through this to exercise their resiliency…

    “I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it with humanity.”

    But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

    But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out.

    This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.

    But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak.

    This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

    So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”

    ~Patton Oswalt, reflecting on the bombing at 2013 The Boston Marathon

  32. When my son was 12 his soccer team won the state championships and then the national and as a result got to go and compete in Europe. When they played against Germany a corrupt ref made some bogus penalty calls against them and as a result put a quick halt to their victory run.

    Interesting enough not one kid got upset, they didn’t even seem to be impacted. It was the adults who got bent out of shape.

    Years later i ran across one of the German parents and he was still upset about what had happened to our team.

    I guess for the kids it was all about the journey and not the destination…

    Kids are more resilient then adults give them credit for. We learned a lot from them. “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken.”

    When the actions of another offend us we could get trapped or we can remain free depending on how we handle it.

  33. victorious says:

    Trust. Just enjoyed a renewal of relationship and of trust that has been 6 plus years in the waiting. In this case the original breach happened as a result of one being brought under the influence of an outside manipulator who appeared as a friend to both of us. The wonderful blessing is a compassion for the other person after hearing the trials they endured during this season.

    When you are on the receiving end of a broken trust and the subject of misrepresentation you battle to fight the fine line between discernment born of wisdom and skepticism born of hurt. 

    Conflict resolution is the fine art and discipline of getting two parties to acknowledge a breach or at least a perceived breach of trust and a willingness for the offended to give a measure of trust while the other accepts the fact that they will have to earn back the trust that was broken.

    For me that measure of being willing to trust was upheld in a great struggle of prayer through the years, with the hope that if the reconciliation did not occur in this life it would definitely happen in the resurrection.

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