Working For The MudMan…
This is yet another testimony of what life was like under this “ministry”.
It is with shaking hands and tears in my eyes that I write these words which are truly just snippets of my personal experiences within Potter’s Field Ministries and Mudman Burgers.
There is much more, far too much to write all of it. As a warning, you may find these stories to be disturbing and/or triggering. There are countless other stories just like mine. They are not to be taken “with a grain of salt” as Sharon DiMuro, legal counsel for PFM, states. They are very real. Those running PFM today are not remorseful for their actions or behavior. I don’t point that out because I am looking for an apology. I don’t need one. Rather, I fear for the safety and well-being of any person who would work for Potter’s Field of Mudman Burgers in the future as they seek to re-open. I do not wish for anyone else to be hurt as we were. As we still are.
*As a note, any mention of “he” or “him” is referring to Mike Rozell*
I was 21 the first time I was brought into his office late at night and sat in horror as he screamed at and verbally tore apart my teammates and I to the breaking point of sobbing and hyperventilating. This continued for hours.
I was 22 when I was brought into an office where he verbally berated me for hours until I had cried so much I was no longer able to speak when he asked me questions which largely surrounded the topic of my past sexual experiences.
I was 22 when I was wearing a hood while standing outside on a cold night and he took me aside, pulled my hood off of my head, and told me to “look at him like a woman”.
I was 22 when I was pulled into an office and reprimanded by him for sharing details of my own life with a friend. I was strictly forbidden from sharing my own story with anyone.
I was 22 ( May 20, 2018 at 2:49 AM) when I journaled:
I am nothing. I’ve been working Kalispell for two weeks with a third on the horizon (Working in the Kalispell location meant working from 9am until you finished closing for the night at around 10:30pm or later for 6 days out of the week. That’s at least 81 hours a week). I am drained. I have no life outside of Mudman. I don’t have time to cook or clean or exercise. I don’t have time to just be because I’m always at work…I have nothing. I am nothing. I will never be anything…I feel like my head is under-water and I’m gasping for breath. I’m choking.
I was 23 (June 30, 2018 at 2:19 AM) when I journaled:
I get lost. Maybe in the buns. Maybe in the meat I have to prep. Maybe in the four bags (200 pounds) of potatoes I cut, bucketed, picked up and filled with water, lifted out of the sink, then dragged into the fridge. Maybe it was while I felt nothing but pain in my whole body. Maybe it was in washing dishes until 10:30 pm. Maybe it’s in me working at [Mudman] Kalispell next week, too. I just need to cry but I don’t have time. When do I fit that in? It’s not my schedule. I’m hurting. Physically. Emotionally.
I was 23 when asked by trusted pastors, I flat-out denied experiencing rage-filled meetings or any of the other allegations that have been raised against PFM because the memories were so painful and traumatic I had blocked them from my mind.
I was 23 when, while journaling, details of the first meeting I described above flooded my mind and I realized that I had, in fact, been subjected to extreme verbal and emotional abuse. I sat in bed and had a panic attack.
I was 24 and six months removed from working for PFM when I heard from two of my friends (who are also former staff members) that he had blatantly lied to them about me. I have since heard from other friends that he told them the same lies when talking about me.
This is not only a harrowing testimony, it’s great writing.
The Rozelle’s need to be held accountable and be permanently stopped so that no one is ever subjected to this again. People in Flathead County need to take decisive action!
Interesting that i could have been living in Kalispell during this siege – long irrelevant story, but did i miss God’s direction? Hope not…
What an ungodly person these lambs have dealt with… I pray they put the experience to good use…. Betrayal and deception happens to more of God’s children than most know
Reading this and other’s stories, I find in me an urge to punch the guy.
please note; when I refer to the guy, I mean Mike Rozell.
Richard, he probably should have been punched. 😤
Trouble is he would have turned it into “martyred for the sake of his.. err God’s kingdom”
Perhaps I’m not filled with the Spirit, but if “he” did that to any of my girls, I’d show up on his door step with a baseball bat and/or a Smith and Wesson, maybe even accompanied by a posse with torches in hand. Son of a…
The thing which strikes me is the hesitancy to reach out for help, even to their own parents. This is a classic (not in a good way) dynamic of domestic violence. Those who are on the outside often can’t understand why admin abused partner doesn’t just leave. It isn’t so simple on many levels. Some have no safe landing, others feel shame, and there is often a “hook.” What better hook than using spreading The Gospel by guilt?
Jesus was often harsh with his disciples, but can one imagine him screaming at them? Waving a sword in their faces? He loved them enough to lay down his life for them (and all of us). What about Paul and his “son” Timothy?
Christians should suffer by circumstances, the world, not by brethren between whom love should abound. To say that this is a terrible witness to the world is an understatement, notwithstanding the abused lambs. Where is “the love for one another?”
I have read this survivor account several times and am assuming that it is written by a young woman. Since she does not give her name or a pseudonym, I will call her “Sister.” I am proud to call her “Sister.”
I try to imagine the choking terror that you must have felt when you were exposed for hours to this horrible hellish treatment by Mike Rozell. I have never encountered such outrageous behavior in my nearly 80 years and I have been in some rough situations. This has to be considered persecution for the sake of Christ. Rozell is incredibly evil and obviously an agent of Satan. This goes beyond a sinful explosion of anger. The energy required to rage without ceasing for hours on end can only be fueled by demonic forces.
It is premeditated soul destruction undertaken for the sole purpose of enslaving you and your team mates. I am so sorry that you were violated in these recurring situations, both in his degrading tirades and in his abusive labor demands.
I am so thankful that you escaped and I pray that the love and healing balm of the Lord flows into you and strengthens your recovery so that you may walk in victory over this wounding past. May your future be a beacon of faith that shines into the lives of those you love and who love you in return.
May all the snares and trickery of the Rozells succeed in trapping them in their own deceitful webs and bring them to a crushing defeat before the laws of this world and the judgement they so richly deserve from God. May their supporters be filled with shame for their blindness, unintended or otherwise. May all the lambs intended for slaughter be rescued and given freedom.
In Christ, Nancy
What Nancy said…Amen!!!
“Christians should suffer by circumstances, the world, not by brethren between whom love should abound.” Well said, Victor.
Oh, My Dear Friend,
I am so sorry for the pain and abuse you had to endure. I am sorry for the loneliness and isolation you felt, surrounded by others who were going the through the same, yet no one was able to speak out. More than anything, I’m sorry that I didn’t see it for what it was, that I fell prey to the deception and facades that were the very structure of potters field and the mudman ( do you know when you write Mudman in your phone it autocorrects to “Madman”?) My heart grieves for you, for the three and a half years that you spent in trauma. I am not sure of your name as I read this, but I’m certain I must know you. You must have come to our house, and like so many others, you were forbidden to really share your heart with me. I pray that you do not run away from The LORD, as He and His Word was so twisted and misrepresented to you for so long. I pray that you find The REAL Jesus through your tears and pain. I often think that as much as we all abhor this abuse to you and so many others, and we are angry and sick about it, how much more our heavenly Dad sees it. If I am so angry and weep tears for what you went through, HE feels even more so. I pray that you find comfort in His Love, and healing. You should have been cared for. You should have been nurtured. You should have had a time of joy, laughter and fulfillment as you served The LORD. Instead, you had cruel self serving masters. But your heart was right, and through all of it, God was honored.
And God will not be mocked. I pray that you will heal and be truly loved and accepted as you deserve.
I am here if you ever want to talk.
This is horrible. And as bad as it is, this is also common in Calvary’s. Perhaps Mike and Pam adopted this from Calvary, especially from Don. Don held the “Seal Team training for ministry.” 70-80 hrs a week, plus your day off, plus holidays. Yet Don did this mainly/only with men, never with young women (although he was famous for making the women on staff cry, due to his angry outbursts toward them).