Cafeteria Christianity American Style: Duane W.H. Arnold, PhD
Cafeteria Christianity
American Style
So, I take my place in the cafeteria line and calmly look over the selections. It all looks good, but after so many years of bouncing around from place to place, I’ve gotten a bit picky about my choices. I turn my attention to the man behind the counter…
“Yes, I’d like two spoonfuls of Lutheran justification by faith”.
“Absolutely” he says.
“How about a side of Congregational governance… but I’d like it topped off with a bishop, they always adds a bit of color.”
“No problem” he replied.
“Is the Calvary Chapel Bible Study still good? I saw it on the menu a few days ago. Alright, give me two teaspoons and put it with the Presbyterian sermon series.”
“Do you want that with or without right wing politics?”
“I am a little afraid of indigestion… I’ll go without today.”
Staring at the tray, I consider some of the other possible selections.
“I’m feeling hungry today, can you do a specialty omelette?” He nods his head. “Great, how about the trans-Atlantic special. You know, Anglican liturgy with Celtic spirituality and a garnish of Orthodox icons.” After selecting the particular brand of Anglicanism (high, low, broad, continuing, etc.) the Celtic variety (Irish, monastic, etc.) and the style of icons (Greek, Russian, Coptic, etc.) the omelette was duly produced.
Thinking that I’m leaning into the specialty items a bit too much, I’m beginning to think that I might need something more substantial to go with the omelette. “Can I exchange regular attendance at church for Biblical inerrancy? I can? That’s great! I’ll take inerrancy, but I’d like it plain without the Chicago Statement sauce.”
I consider the selection of Methodist hymnody for a moment, but decide I want to save room for desert.
Sensing my indecision, the man behind the counter speaks up. “We have a special today on Roman Catholicism and it comes with a choice of dressings – liberal, traditional or tribal.” I consider for a moment and then shake my head. I can always come back later for seconds.
It’s time to select my deserts.
Now, I need to tell you, of all the things that are on offer, these deserts really look the best. I realize that they are full of empty calories and provide little nourishment, but they look fantastic. They are like nothing I could ever fix at home.
The man behind the counter is waiting patiently as I consider my choices. So many possibilities to choose from and all beautifully presented.
“Right, I’ll take the Hillsong United worship choruses with two of the Joel Osteen motivational books”.
Seeing the others in line behind me making similar choices, the server asks, “Would you like anything to drink with that?”
“Yes”, I answer. Looking past the brand specific drinks, I settle on a bottle of non-specific dominical sacraments with a plain label. I’m not sure what it contains, but it seems to be what everyone else is getting.
Making my way to the cash register, I pull out my wallet to pay. The man behind the counter holds up his hand and says, “The bill has already been settled.” Surprised, I asked the man who had settled the bill?
With some bit of sadness, he informed me that American Christianity had already paid the price.
Is the solution that each choice include more of the others or stick with one selection? Obviously we have a wide range of theological and practical options and most contain something helpful and edifying. Yet the American expression of the Church seems to want a designer approach–individualized more for being noticeably distinct from every one else. Like a tattoo.
Smörgåsbord comes to mind.
I’ve been with the same denomination, which is reasonably Baptistic (but not Baptist) for the last 25 years. I know what to expect and understand the teaching. I will give my current church credit for exposing us to other flavors of Christianity, but I also appreciate knowing about my faith and how to practice it. We’re also taught to appreciate other traditions, which I think is important. i have friends wandering from church to church, trying to figure out who they want to be spiritually. They’re like the proverbial wave in James 1-tossed from one thing to another and never sure about their faith and practice.
I just remain more inclined to fast.
gh, that’s really funny! good to see you
“Yet the American expression of the Church seems to want a designer approach–individualized more for being noticeably distinct from every one else. Like a tattoo.”
Exactly…
Linn
I know so many people who are wandering from place to place… They have done it for so long that they couldn’t settle down if they found the perfect church.
I had a conversation with a young woman years ago who told me her spirituality was “cafeteria style.” She also admitted to me that she didn’t feel it was good thing. I’ve thought about this conversation for years and I wonder where she is today in her journey.
I hear the caution in what you have written here, and have seen “Christian pluralism” as unripe fruit that can’t be eaten. However (and you probably guessed that was coming), all Systematic Theologies are constructed based on biblical interpretations, but also environments and the experiences that come out of them. I see every system as possessing both strengths and weaknesses, which to me, justifies the cafeteria style to some degree.
I’m leaving our church in the Spring, and the question of what to do next is looming. I’m attracted to liturgical worship and sacramental theology, but I also have a big, booming Baptist voice ringing in my head. I’m also interested in churches where the Spirit clearly moves in ways that I cannot explain, nor am I even comfortable with. The stillness of a true Quaker communion also has a pull on my heart. I read a fair amount of Benedictine theology (particularly Joan Chittister), and am looking to go through the Ignatian 19th Annotation this year. In my work as a counselor and Spiritual Director, I encounter people of different traditions, some that I don’t agree with, and I don’t feel much urge to provide them an alternative (that’s the Quaker in me). So, at this stage in my life, the cafeteria might become the best alternative for me, although I have no idea what that will look like in the future.
pstrmike
I think we all pick up baggage along the way, some of it good, some of it a distraction. I think we can agree, however, that not all the baggage is of equal value. Determining which is, and which is not of value, can you take a lifetime. For myself, I find there has to be a “core”, something that allows me a vantage point from which I can evaluate other systems that I encounter.
Since I have had a very large number of food poisonings over the decades regardless of what entree has served in Cafeteria Christianity and repeatedly treated to piss poor customer service by the food handlers, I have decided many years ago to never eat there again. I prefer to enjoy my tasty call glass None and Done Lager, thank you very much.
When you have all your dietary needs met, and extra income, a buffet seems gross and uncivilized. When you are struggling to survive, a buffet is a lifeline.
R’as al Ghul
A lesson for us all… You have to watch where you eat.
Duane,
Yes, I picked up some baggage along the way. But I have also left some of it behind. You might say that could be a new version of left behind. Two traditions that I don’t have any desire to pursue any longer are dispensationalism and reformed. So that big Baptist voice is free-will, non-dispensational. That seems to be my core, but there is also room on that seat for Benedictine spirituality.
After such bad experiences in the cafeteria, I am sticking to None Lager and eating Agnostic / Atheist alfredo. Perhaps when the cafeteria is shut down and a real mom and pop diner opens up I will venture another trip to the eatery.