TGIF
I have three large scars on my back from last years operations.
The pain from those cuts and their healing has long since passed.
It has been replaced with another kind of pain lately.
It seems that my body reacts to surgery by producing an inordinate amount of scar tissue.
That scar tissue helps close the wound, but it also attaches things together internally that aren’t meant to be attached.
Sometimes I’m aware that this has happened because of discomfort when I move a certain way, sometimes I’m not aware until I try to do something that requires me to move differently than usual.
In the second case, I know because my movement has caused the scar tissue to violently tear from whatever it was stuck to….and the pain makes me want to scream.
When the pain subsides I’m grateful…that separation needed to happen and that pain is part of the process.
So are the verbal and physiological reactions that follow the tearing.
They are, however, loud and profane at times.
Life delivers cuts of its own that produce emotional and spiritual wounds…then produces scar tissue to protect the heart.
We can be wrongly attached to an incident and to people who we believe wielded the knife long after the initial pain subsides.
In God’s providence He will use another incident or circumstance to tear away that scar tissue from our souls and begin true healing.
We may have been unaware that we were scarred until that happens.
We may scream and curse from the pain…it hurts like hell, but it’s part of the process and the process is needful.
We may do this in front of friends and family as the pain comes when we least expect it.
We may become as ugly as my physical scars for a season.
We will heal.
We will heal because the grace of God that superintended the circumstance of the tearing will send His grace and that grace will usually be delivered through those closest enough to feel the brunt of our pain.
In a fallen world, there will always be an opportunity to reciprocate…
Remember grace.
Make your own application…
*NOW*
Thank you for explaining what happened to me a few years ago when I was in process of reconciling with my brother. I went off the rails for a minute and it was over.
Gary,
We all derail at times.
Grace will get you back on the tracks.
This is an incredibly well written TGIF. One of, if not the, best ever.
Kudos.
Thank you, Steve!
I just shared this article with someone who is paralyzed with extreme emotional pain right now. Hope it helps him ride out this season, and avoid a suicide.
“That scar tissue helps close the wound, but it also attaches things together internally that aren’t meant to be attached.”- kind of profound. Nicely done.
Thank you, Michael…we’ll keep your friend in prayer as well.
I agree with Steve’s #4. It is extremely well written. Beyond the writing style, I believe it’s Spirit empowered, as you’ve once again pieced my crusty old heart.
Michael, you aren’t between jobs, you’re a starving artist. Get this stuff published.
or pierced… pricked, gotten through…
Thank you, Jim…kind words are how we keep going.
I am in a deep amount of emotional pain. And I keep hoping it will disappear. Someone of a highly questionable religious organization made a false accusation to end a relationship. It could have destroyed me and it turned my world upside down. Sometimes its just getting through some days that are a major achievemnet.
Lucky,
We’ll offer up prayer for you…be patient with yourself and look for small acts of grace.
Combined over time, they will heal…
Sorry to hear that Lucky. No words of wisdom, just prayers. There are many wounded here.
Lucky…keeping you in prayer and understand where you’re coming from…
Lucky, I’m one of the walking wounded and I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything. It’s painful, it’s ugly, it hurts, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced.
The beauty takes time. Press into what God has you going through. Don’t rush the process, but don’t dwell in the misery either. Move through each day and the challenges that happen, but don’t worry about what tomorrow may bring, and it’s okay to have good days in between.
There is no rule book for what you are going through, it is your own personal experience, one that happens of its own time.
Just breathe and rest in knowledge that God has a plan for you.
“pierced my crusty old heart.”–Jim
Ditto
OK I guess I have permission for this. I have a very long history of sharing things in the Christian community only to have it blow up in my face as, you want attention, manipulative, liar, fake, I enjoy it, etc. So with that caveat.
I actually have scars all over my body about 40% of it after I was caught in a fire as a kid, The scars did “tighten up” which lead to problems walking, when I learned to walk again, I can’t go in the sun too long etc.The burns damaged my ligaments and muscles to some degree. The psychological effect was far more profound, my mother shared some of what the doctors told me. People who are burned can develop a “burn personality”. As I was told latter many kids who are severely burned often go into a type of shock and the moments surrounding the events are blurred. My mom explained to me that I did not do this, I remembered every single moment even to today. I think that has stuck with me, I keep many accounts of wrongs suffered. This event defined me as a kid. I count that pathetic at best but that is another post.
I did eventually get over the night terrors. Some of you ask why I dont sleep so much, that is why, I avoid them by not sleeping. There was a time I did ask for prayer concerning this issue, I wont ever do that again. I dont know if some here think I get off posting such personal issues. Many of my Christian friends think I do, I have turned it into a cottage industry. Trust me its not easy, it has made me physically ill many times.
The scars I see everytime I change or swim or what ever have had one overarching power. They give me a very small insight into the people I have been blessed to help. They make me a better teacher and I would not change a thing. I understand that God does work all things out for good. What I dont understand is why that makes me such a creep and pawn of Satan.
We will heal. We will heal. We will heal. Amen… May we all give and receive healing grace.
“We will heal. We will heal. We will heal. Amen” never was that my experience as a Christian to even hint at needing healing was proof that you were a child of Satan. God wants over-comers, people who do not need God. That is the good news, we should not ever need it, ever. I get that. Dont need God. I get that in spades. I find that strange but not unexpected. One should never need. Ever in any circumstance. Want to hear something pathetic I actually believe in this reconciliation stuff. To even need reconciliation is demonic and of Satan a true follower of Jesus would never need, ever, anything. I get that. Dont ask for forgiveness no matter what may happen. I get that as well. I get that we should always look for the agenda and the weakness and totally exploit that weakness, any weakness. I get that in spades.
I admit I find this a very strange religion I really do.
When someone pours their heart out and opens up about their pain I feel like I’m on holy ground. This is holy ground.
Sorry, Brian, I know you have a kind and tender heart….but you lost me on your number 19.
As I was sitting and thinking about a very emotional event that had happened to me back in the early 90’s I could feel the scars I carry from it. I sat there pondering it from this distant future because I couldn’t sleep. I thought about what I am today because of it. When I got back in bed I picked up my ipad and came here.
I was kind of stunned to read what you wrote because it spoke into my circumstances that I was just going over in my memory.
Once again you take something and apply it with heavenly perfection in ways that can only be the finger prints of Almighty God moving through your yielded life Michael.
It hit home. I will be whole and I will be well.
Thank you, David.
I always hope that I’m writing something of value to someone, but I never know until someone responds.