Things I Think…
1. My mother died early Saturday morning.
She died from complications of dementia and she died by choice, by the sheer force of her will.
If she could not have autonomy and the company of her cat, life was not worth living.
I suspect she is correct on both points.
We were not close as most people define it…there were no physical or verbal affirmations of love and family.
That’s what cats were for…they were safe to love and they would love you back.
We had lots of cats…
She gave me two massive gifts…my music and my cats.
They were her 45’s…and every time I played “Whole Lotta Shaking” down to the white, there was another to take its place. She gave me Jerry Lee and Hank Sr. and Cash and Carl.
They were no longer her cup of tea, but they remain mine.
She passed on her love of cats and and we all know they are my comfort in this veil of tears.
She was not a professing believer…the trauma endured at the hands of the religious was too much to overcome.
Mom didn’t “profess Christ” but if you were hungry she fed you, thirsty, she gave you drink, naked ,she would get you some clothes.
She had no issue taking in strays, some of which were feline.
I do not hope in some deathbed conversion, some moment of holy clarity, or the subversive work of the Spirit on her demented mind…though all are possible.
I do hope in goodness and grace of God who understood human trauma because He endured it.
I believe that at 7:20 Saturday morning my mom found out that it was all true and He was truly love and truly Lord.
She was healed forever when she touched the hem of His garment…then out from under the hem a paw reached out and touched her…then another paw …and then a lifetime of friends came out from under His robes.
“Welcome home, Dee…they’re all here”.
2. Some of you will be very upset that I don’t believe my mom went to hell… there is a big internet out there for you to explore…go in peace…
3. If you have a hard time finding your way out, find the trail of decades long friends who left because I don’t like Trump…
4. I also inherited my mothers will…you won’t break me…even if you break me for a season…just sayin…
5. I was amazed and grateful for the theological depth and pastoral care given by the hospice chaplains…they have been an amazing blend of education and empathy…
6. I am also grateful for the friendship and pastoral care given to me by my dear friends who have believed in me through all the crises and conflicts…you know who you are…
7. I thank God that He gave me a group of people to pastor who not only tolerate me,but hold me in higher regard than I deserve. While I think most of the visible church is on the verge of apostasy, there is no greater blessing than an authentic group of believers gathered in the love of the Spirit…it is my fervent prayer that all of you would find such a refuge…
8. One of my critics remarked that because I hope for ultimate reconciliation that I think I’m “nicer than God”….no…I think what Christ accomplished is so efficacious and the love of God for people and creation so fierce that any other outcome is not possible…I might be wrong…but I hope I’m wrong for the right reason…
9. Because I am a pastor and Bible teacher, I have to spend a lot of time studying…in particular I spend a lot of time being confronted by the person and work of Jesus…those encounters almost always call me to change the way I think and act…how I respond determines how much light I walk in…darkness is a choice…
10. This morning I was in the catio at sunrise…saw some deer, two foxes, and my new friends, the woodpeckers…they were all remarkable unconcerned about…anything. They know something I don’t…or that I do and don’t fully believe…
Michael,
I am very sorry to hear of your mother’s passing; you both had folks praying for you.
The gifts she gave to you are the ones to endure as they are about love and joy. Cats and music are both of those things.
I am glad you have them and the time you had with your mother.
Thank you, Laura…you’ve always been one of my #6 crew…and I will always be grateful.
Wow Michael! All I can say is Wow! You are such a beautiful tribute of your mom.
You told me once “I was more christian than most christians”. I’ve always tried to live up to that. Now I say. “Back at you “ Peace💟
We’ve spoken already of most you’ve written here.
But about #10… I hope you indulge yourself there more and more often. Along with good friends and cats. There is something so healing about animals and nature and we miss it being busy.
Michael, know that you are in our thoughts and our prayers during this time.
REQUIESCAT IN PACE
Losing a parent is a sad and difficult milestone. Your mother was lucky to have you for a son. When my mother developed Alzheimers, my brother couldn’t bear seeing her so changed, and so he stopped visiting her completely. My sister and I, and my father, had to make excuses for his absence. May God bring you peace and comfort, Michael.
Michael,
My deepest sympathies in your loss. The fact that you could be there in her last days and hours I have no doubt meant a lot to both of you (even though she may not have been able to express it). Both of you were able to have a sense of closure.
As someone who is mourning today, know that I am right there with you.
Good morning, Michael. I’m very sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. I’ve been praying for both of you. I love the picture of the paws coming from beneath the hem of His garment. I’m glad you’ve got a church and all your catio friends to enjoy. Bless you, my friend.
Reuben, I’m praying for you on this day of mourning.
Michael,
May every memory be a blessing.
We hold you in our hearts.
Much love.
Michael,
I lost my mom 14 years ago. I have no idea where she was spiritually when she passed. What I do know is that she was a wonderful mother, a great gift of God to me, and I still miss her. We didn’t always agree, but we always got along. And, she moved heaven and earth to get excellent medical care for me so that I would walk (and I do).
Take care, and may God comfort you during this difficult time.
Michael, please accept my most sincere condolences. May the Lord comfort and strengthen you.
Sincerest condolences, Michael. Thank you for again sharing your heart and experience.
I am so sorry, Michael. You will remain in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your heart.
I’m very sorry to hear of your mother’s death. I’m praying for God to surround you with his grace as he walks with you through your grief.
My deepest condolences on your mother’s passing.
You have always shared from your heart. I pray that God will give you comfort and peace.
Sorry for your loss… I think you will see your Mom in heaven from what you say… as I think there are lots of people who have called upon the Lord Jesus and were saved… who did not know what they did. (And Jesus is always calling us to come to the very end too.)
Jesus did/does the work we just call out to Him… way to many ways people called out to the Lord and were saved in the Bible to make it a canned do xyz.
Blessings.
So sorry Michael..praying
🕯️
Sympathies to you in the loss of your Mom…#1–A beautiful tribute to her.
Paws coming out from under His garment touched my heart.
So sorry for your loss Michael. Prayers for you and your family.
Much love to you brother. Hold tight to hope.
I was close to my mom which helped at her passing, even though I was blackballed from speaking at her funeral.
May a part of her live on through you, and be a continual blessing.
We serve the true loving and merciful God.
Thank you all, for the kind words.
I’ve read them all as I go about doing all the things one must do when someone dies.
I still have more to do today, but I wanted all to know that they are appreciated.
My heart breaks for you 🙏✝️
Michael,
The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face to shine on you and be gracious to you; The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Amen!
Michael,
I’m very sorry for your loss. I understand. I will pray for your rest and peace.
Michael,
May the Lord’s joy fill you even among the tears. She has finished her walk and now knows the truth about our beloved Jesus. You’ve done your duty in honoring your mother. Good job.
I pray for His wisdom and strength as you finish off these last responsibilities.
Michael, I’m so sorry for your loss, understanding that the loss began many years ago. I have a feeling God’s eternal plans are amazing, and way more profoundly gracious than our limited current understanding. I can live with, “Sorry God, I overestimated your grace.”
Michael, you did the right things to the end. Blessings to you and the denizens of the Catio.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom…both at her passing and over the years. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Cats are great sources of comfort in these times. Thank you for your writing, your authencity and your heart.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a few years ago and it’s a very tough path to travel. May God show you His continuing presence in surprising ways throughout this time.
May comfort and remembrances of joy meet you on the road of sorrow and grief. I inherited my love of music from my mother now I think of it. I used to listen to her records and read all the liner notes especially the lyrics. It was everything from Patsy Cline to Paul Simon to the Beatles to Boston to Led Zepplin. I hope your estimation of your mom’s eternal state is true for mine. Maybe we can’t overestimate God’s grace in His saving work. All I know is I want it to be true. May you find strength to do and moments of joyful recollection while finishing up the various aspects of responsibilities that death brings.
Blessings, Peace, Comfort and Compassion surround and fill you and your family, and your Dear Mom…✨❤️
Everyone’s mother isn’t warm and fuzzy.. And it hurts…
Lorraine,
Yes, it does…I hear you.
Thanks again to those who have added their own kind words and condolences here…it has been an encouragement and comfort.
I pray peace and comfort will come to you, Michael. And I have a hunch your furry friends may be a large part of bringing those to you.
I’m sorry for your loss. You seem to be espousing Universalism. That all souls will eventually go to heaven. This is heresy. Christ spoke clearly as to the reality of Hell. And Scripture is clear that MOST souls will end up there.
Sorry for your loss Michael!
May you feel the comfort of our Lord Jesus Christ envelop you every step of the way!
You’re never alone, even if all your friends abandon you – which is not likely!
The way you express emotions is a blessing to all of us, I’m sure!
Owen,
The cats have been faithful… 🙂
Elena,
Thanks, as always…
Zachary,
If you really believe that most souls end up in hell after what Christ has done…you have a very different concept of love than I do.
If you really believe that, you must be very sad that so many will be lost…at least I hope you are.
Late, but prayers continue for you after this loss. I have a decent number of 45s myself, I hope you’re enjoying them this week.
Michael @ 7:48 AM:
To quote Charles Spurgeon:
“Oh, my brothers and sisters in Christ, if sinners will be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies; and if they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay, and not madly to destroy themselves. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned and unprayed for.”
So if this bothered Spurgeon (and it clearly did), then one would think it should bother other Christians too.
The Spurgeon quote sounds a lot like something Francis Schaeffer said back in the day (I’m paraphrasing) that any time we speak about Hell, we need to do it with tears in our eyes.
I’m sorry for your loss, Michael..
You never made a post about Jeff Hensley and Heritage, he wrecked a lot of people. Any comments?
Questions,
First, generally speaking, what goes on in a small local church in my community isn’t of interest to people who read here from all over the world.
My guess would be that I’m the only person here who ever heard of Jeff.
Second, whatever happened with him happened when I was in the midst of a health crisis and I wasn’t paying much attention.
I still don’t know what went down and Heritage seems to be doing well these days.
If you want to fill me in on why I need to write about this and can provide facts and documentation about the charges…you can email me at michael@phoenixpreacher.com