TGIF
A “helicopter parent” is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s or children’s experiences and problems.
It’s become a term of derision meaning a suffocating, cloying, parent who doesn’t give their children space to grow on their own.
It need not be so.
The key to being a good helicopter parent is stealth…being close enough to observe, but not close enough to be noticed.
You can go ahead and call me “Chopper” because that’s my style of parenting.
I try to always be present, never in the way.
I stay far enough away to create an illusion of freedom, close enough to be there immediately in case of emergency.
Trey’s passion is skateboarding.
Skateboarding is dangerous.
The very act of participation puts the skater at risk.
The concrete surface of the park is unforgiving, the risk of being broken is ever present.
The other inhabitants of the park can be dangerous as well.
Some are not there for the sport, but for less than positive reasons.
They will try to influence a child away from what they’ve been taught to destructive practices.
Trey is never at the park alone.
Ever.
You will probably not see me, but be assured that I’m there.
Close.
Observing.
Ready to act if he should fall or should someone threaten him.
I do not jump at every fall or every confrontation.
There are things that he has been taught already that he needs to learn to put into practice.
I usually wait until he calls for me before I respond.
He sometimes thinks he wants to go alone.
You know where I’m going…
This world is a dangerous place.
Participating in it is always a risk and no one gets out without being broken.
Your Father is here.
Close.
Observing.
Ready to act on your behalf.
You are never alone.
Ever.
You may not be able to see Him, but be assured he is present.
He doesn’t act at every threat or fall…there are some things He’s already told you that you need to believe and practice.
He may be waiting for you to call…He’s always close enough to hear.
You’re the one who wanted to go alone…
He’s the ultimate helicopter parent.
Make your own application…
wonderful, wonderful post today – if i may so say :smile;
in case someone is thinking, “you can always hear a helicopter,” no there are some that you can’t, but those nearly silent helicopters are in use by only a very elite few
Thank you, Em. 🙂
need a Miss Kitty update … hope she’s better?
Em,
I’m waiting on the animal hospital to tell me when to bring her in this morning.
It doesn’t look good.
She seems to be in pain and can only walk a short distance before collapsing.
We are comforting each other as we wait for the call.
Michael,
I’m only concerned about helicopter parents when they never realize their children into the real world WHEN THEY ARE READY.
Unless they are leaving home for a monastery after age 18.
It seems that this crazy world puts kids into terrible situations far too soon, far too easily and without enough (any?) forethought. I have a line of neglected and molested children in my mind that puts the fear of the Lord in me about a heavy stone and a body of water and how kids today are treated.
My heartbreaks for how easily kids are placed in horrifying situations where they can be and are harmed, at how quickly and at early ages strangers are allowed to babysit unsupervised and worse.
While many of us who serve college students have horror stories of parents trying to fight professors over their kids grades (at the UNIVERSITY LEVEL!), of parents that apply for jobs for their kids (an immediate disqualification in managers’ minds), of angry parents who don’t want their kids to think critically as adults, the weight of scripture in the context of zeitgeist leaves me to believe that all of us need to be more vigilant.
you are comforting her – it matters – i remember sitting with our german shepherd, holding his paw and my daughter did the same thing with her dog this summer when Selah’s time came
Michael – your example and presence as a father and kitty lover always inspire me. Your continuing diligence in shining light in dark places without concern for fame or fortune has been a source of inspiration as well. Honored to know you.
if i can collect my thoughts i must share this here as Michael’s post above was for me this morning, although i didn’t know it then
my daughter was talking with my son this morning – he was returning her call about some plans for Thanksgiving
in the course of the conversation he mentioned that he’d seen the doctor for earache and his nurse sister wanted details… upshot, she didn’t like what she heard and right now as i type, he is being airlifted from the hospital on the island where he lives to the mainland as the cardiologist said, “I want him over here NOW.”
my daughter says she thinks all is good as he’ll get preemptive treatment, bloodwork showed no sign of significant heart damage yet, but she said, except for that phone call he was headed for a major event – he’s someone who pushes on and doesn’t complain and has a plateful of worries to match Michaels
we have a helicopter Father INDEED – thank you, dear Papa
Em,
Thank God…praying for your boy.