I have it a whole lot better than Moses.
Moses put up with more garbage from more people than any man in history.
He fought for and with those people and interceded with God for them when God wanted to take the whole silly bunch out.
Yet…when Moses misrepresented the heart of God toward those people he was denied the reward of entering the Promised Land with them.
He struck the rock when he should have spoken to the rock, leaving the impression among the people that God would like to do likewise.
He paid for that on the spot.
Those of us who now live under grace instead of law do it right…we strike through speaking while thinking our empty hands are holy.
We don’t whack each other with sticks, we smite with our words.
We are all ambassadors for Christ and representatives of the kingdom wherever we go, but nowhere is that more important than in our own homes.
With that in mind, I offer things I’ve said this week that God didn’t say to my son.
“I’ve had enough of you”.
“Are you STUPID?”.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I need a break from you”.
“Why did you do THAT?”
Trey thinks I know God…so the next thing he will hear is me asking our Father to forgive me for lying about Him with my words.
Then he will hear me ask him to forgive me for the same.
Then I will tell him what God really says about him…and me.
“I love you”.
Make your own application…
Awesome. Amen. Thank you!
Thank you, my friend…
Thank you, Nonnie…
the grace-law issue remains huge in the means of conveying the heart and love of God. Thanks for the good illustration, reminder, and personal example.
Thank you, Fil!
I guess you have not read Deuteronomy lately. 🙂
This is exactly how Moses talked to the Israelites:
You rebellious idiots, I do not know why I put up with you, and as soon as you get fat in the promised land, you will reject God.
That is exactly what he said, look it up.
If a pastor talked today to his people today the way Moses talked to Israel, PhxPr would run a series of threads on the man as an abuser.
Michael…yes. The other day I realized that I had been preaching at the boys. We’ve been talking to them a lot lately about their attitudes and their interactions, and I realized as we sat down to start our school day I was frustrated with their lack of enthusiasm for prayer.
I realized as well that I have preached at them in prayer as well. They needed to hear God’s heart for them in prayer…they needed to be prayed for like I pray for others. How often do we speak with grace and kindness and truth for those outside our house?
So I stood up and told them I was going to do things differently that day. They know I serve on the prayer team at church. I told them I was going to pray for them like I pray for people who come back to the prayer team and ask for prayer. I walked behind each of them and layed my hands on them and prayed for them…for vision, for the Spirit to quicken in them and for them to know God deeply. I prayed specifics for them, I prayed simply but I prayed as I do for adults.
In between each one I glanced at them…they were wide-eyed…grinning and expectant.
That is the God I want them to hear and the prayer life I want them to know. Not lessons drilled into them by a grumpy mom (Sammy usually prays for me not to be grumpy 😉 ).
Our transparency before our children, and before one another, can be one of our greatest tools for vulnerability and for testimony. Our brokenness and our need for God. The reality that we simply blow it, and the reality that God simply does not. We need to repeat that…to each other, and to ourselves. Constantly.
I’m a lucky guy. I don’t have struggles in those areas THANK GOD. I find it easy to err on the side of grace and love with my kids. I encourage them everyday and always seek to find the positive in a particular situation and try to teach in love and grace. The result is they both trust me and love me…and I know it because I love the feedback and the relationship I have with both of them.
Now, with some other folks I don’t have near as much grace, patience etc. But, I’m OK with that. If I’m going to be at my best with anyone…I’m glad it’s my kids. Other adults who are not in a family relationship can deal with it.
Michael, watch it with those words, especially the “are you stupid?” stuff. You can exercise more self control in that area. Take it out on someone else, not your son.
Thank you Michael. On my west to the Bay Area to meet my 1st grand baby a precious girl. I will try to spoil her all my days.
“I’ve had enough of you”.
“Are you STUPID?”.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
I can’t imagine ever saying this to any of my kids.
Pharisees and Sadducees… Jesus had the harshest words for them. Let him who has an ear hear.
I agree– we don’t often treat those of our own family as well as we treat those outside. Amen, Michael.
I don’t wanna go all, “oh, I would never do such a thing”, because those are sort of like famous last words. I’m also not about condemnation.
I think Michael is an excellent writer, and as such, every volume of make your own application may not be a word for word depiction of a day in the life.
So, taking the post out of the equation, I will say that there are words that leave a mark that doesn’t heal quickly, and parents who use them must apply the amputation principle and never speak them again. Never ever.
I usually delete these links even before I watch them as they usually have happy / emotional endings. That is not an option as I understand it and I agree. But it seemed to tell of the grace of God in our fear and eventual acceptance. I found it moving, most likely it is pathetic on my part think in such terms but I found it moving.
I was thinking on hearing negative from a father etc. My father use to tell me I was worthless as breasts (use the other word) on a boar. I wish you were never born, and other such stuff. It hurt but I understood it was basically true because that is what my faith community told me. Actually my father had far more grace, he did not hope I would be sentence to eternal hell. My father lacked that spiritual insight. He even told me he loved me before he died. I treasure that as I loved him warts and all. People say things when they are mad, I give my father that grace, I know I say stupid blank far more then he ever did. I never quite understood God hated my father, as his son but that is another post. He just did the best he could given who he was and I forgive him and love him for giving me life and I forgive him, actually I forgave him a long time ago. I just dont understand why that is wrong, it is wrong I get that, I just dont understand why.
I’ll bet I say more stupid things than you do and I’ll bet the stupid things I say are more stupid than the stupid things you say. I’m sure of it.
The bible is clear, we are not to discourage our kids. The quickest way for kids to get in depression is by parents putting high expectations on them and then the kids not living up to it. We are not to live thru our kids, I see this most in sports and religion.
Your kids may not ever have the same ferver for the Lord you have but that’s okay as they have their own journey. I do pray that they follow the Lord tho. As prarents we have to learn to back off our kids at times and not smother them. Not saying ur doing that its just I see this a lot in Christian families where the kids are put under this pressure to have a relationship with Jesus but in the end resentment and rebellion grows from that. Lets be real, when ur a kid u just wanna have fun and going to church on sunday morning can be a drag when the other option is to sleep in or watch cartoons. I don’t force my teenagers to join us in fellowship, I give them the choice. My 15 year old does and my 17 year old doesn’t but I still show her the same love as the 15 year old.
God help us to use words that build up, encourage, and point people to Jesus….and when we fall short of that, to ask forgiveness from them and the Lord. Words can be deadly. I’m in my 60’s and can feel the pain of some words that were spit out upon me, when I was a child. Sadly, often the people who spoke them, had no idea how painful it was.
Michael, thank you for your openness and honesty.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard “goddamm kids” I’d be a rich man. My father too told me that he never wanted me; he was hoping for a girl.
I have forgiven him, but certainly the past has affected me no matter how much I pray.
Solomon…yeah, I understand what you are saying and I do know people who try to make every conversation have spiritual overtones. That was not my intention, it was just that in the course of homeschool I found that I was preaching at he kids, and even doing so in my prayer. I won’t always pray for them as I did that morning, but it sure had an impact in that moment. Maybe that is all I was saying…being sensitive to the moment and speaking life to our kids. Won’t happen every minute if the day, but it stands out when it does…
Michael, I love that you share the lessons that God is teaching you. Keep it up, my friend.
Thank you, CK.
Sometimes, the truth hurts and I have to write it up the way it is.