Things I Think

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78 Responses

  1. Kevin H says:

    1. Agreed.

    2. Yes, give me my meat. Others can have their tofu.

    8. God must have known you had a lot of dirt that needed cleaning up. πŸ™‚

    9. Nah, David Carr was a flop when he was drafted the first time around by the Texans in 2002. Now his little brother Derek, on the other hand, maybe he’ll be a different story. πŸ™‚

  2. Kevin H says:

    Oh, and FIRST!

  3. Jtk says:

    “The greatest offense recorded in Scripture is the predestined murder of the Son of God.”

    I’d presume to add to your statement, “torture and murder….of His own Son!”

    What a terror-inducing and wonderful God we love and serve!

  4. Jtk says:

    Yeah, God heals cars, fridges and computers too!

  5. ( |o )====::: says:

    #10 is intended for me, I get that. I choose to believe that Jesus was shamefully betrayed and murdered. How this same Jesus drowned the world, slaughtering the innocents as Herod did, I cannot reconcile that in my heart, therefore the flood story cannot be a historical account for me.

    I respect you, Michael, but I shall never agree that Jesus flooded the Earth.

  6. Andrew says:

    Its not hard to believe the flood occurred if you believe the Bible because the world is going to be destroyed again but even worse the next time. 2 Peter 3:10-12.

  7. Filbertz says:

    you can’t disciple your subjects when you’re so busy ruling them… πŸ˜‰

    It takes a broken crayon to connect the dots between Fred Phelps and Evangelicalism.

    I make it my practice to never laugh at what people pray for or how God chooses to answer. I’ve offered a few whack-job prayers, even in unbelief, and saw immediate answers. Vacuum away!

  8. Steve Voigt says:

    Re: #8 did you have the vac plugged in before you started to rejoice make your own application

  9. Michael says:

    I’m not picking on you…this is a view shared by others.
    It’s better to address ideas than people…and you and I will disagree agreeably on this matter.

  10. Neo says:

    God healed your vacuum? That sucks. πŸ™‚

  11. Michael says:


    Correction appreciated and made… πŸ™‚

  12. Steve Wright says:

    if you think all there is to discipling people is teaching
    That’s the definition of the word though….a disciple is a student, pupil. To disciple is to teach…I think I see your larger point (and we know that teaching is not just lecturing but by example as well)..but I struggle with your use of that word. I would say “If you think all there is to pastoring is teaching…”

    Disciple also is a word that is absent in the New Testament epistles.

    It also is a word that equates to Christians (per Acts/Antioch). And that is where the issue lies…

    1. Does God see all Christians as disciples by definition?
    2. Or is there some level of achievement or commitment that makes a Christian a disciple at some later point? Some transition where a Christian says “Hey, I want to be a disciple now”

    I think the Bible clearly supports option 1. But I’ve heard a lot of messages that support option 2.

  13. On No says:

    I continue to be amazed by people who feel that God owes them an explanation for the events recorded in Scripture! Just because our limited abilities to understand what is recorded in Scripture, some throw it out, or spin it a different way.

    “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” Romans 11:33.

  14. Andrew says:

    I agree with you Steve that the Bible clearly supports option 1 and the messages I have heard supporting option 2, I don’t think are very biblical.

  15. Michael says:

    As my church knows too well, I actually prefer the title “ambassador”.
    β€œTherefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”
    (2 Corinthians 5:20 ESV)
    I think there is a qualitative difference between someone who is a “convert” and one who has fully embraced what it means to be a representative of Christ engaged in the work of the kingdom.

  16. PP Vet says:

    True, Oh No, but the glory of kings (and the NTSB) is to search things out, and try to make sense of it all.

  17. On No says:

    PP Vet

    I’ve been a student of God’s Word for 50 years and some things still don’t make since, but I won’t dismiss it.

  18. Steve Wright says:

    I use the example of a student. If someone is enrolled in school, he/she is a student.

    That person may be a horrible student, and a very poor example to both other students as well as those who are wondering if they should go to that school….

    But when someone says “My kid is just not a student” they really mean “My kid is a bad student”…

    Fortunately, unlike students, once we as Christians matriculate, we can’t flunk out. πŸ™‚

  19. Xenia says:

    I must object to your mischaracterization of the woman with the issue of blood. Far from being spiritually immature, ignorant, superstitious and a theological train wreck, she clearly saw Jesus and cast everything aside to touch the hem of His garment to be healed. I call this pretty good theology. She had the faith of a child, which Jesus commends.

  20. Michael says:

    Free on Kindle;
    Putting Jesus in His Place: The Case for the Deity of Christ

  21. Michael says:


    There is no doubt that she did that.
    ‘The question is why…what informed her and drove her?
    The point to #4 is that the mercy of God is greater than both our understanding or motives.

  22. Xenia says:

    Then Michael, there is no reason to call her ignorant, immature, etc,. when you don’t know her motives and what drove her.

  23. Xenia says:

    My point is that the Scriptures don’t provide enough information for you to use those derogatory adjectives. For all we know, this woman could have been someone very pious who studied and believed the OT prophecies and recognized Jesus and the Messiah and acted accordingly.

  24. Xenia says:

    “as” the Messiah

  25. Michael says:


    She was an outcast of society…she could not have had even a modicum of knowledge about Christ.
    Her desire to just “touch the hem of his garment’ was probably based on popular superstitions concerning healers.
    She wasn’t going to get ‘saved”, she was desperate for a bodily healing.
    That story isn’t about her nearly as much as it is about Christ who is merciful despite our sin and shortcomings.

  26. Xenia says:

    she could not have had even a modicum of knowledge about Christ.<<

    You don't know that. How could you possibly know that.

  27. Michael says:


    I note your objections, but I think I’ve got it right.
    As I taught last night, we all have places of spiritual and theological ignorance and immaturity, but the grace and mercy of God is greater.

  28. Xenia says:

    All we know for sure is that she was a sick woman who made a beeline for Christ.

    This is just as much the lesson of the story as is God’s mercy.

  29. Michael says:


    The apostles themselves barely had a working knowledge of who Christ was, let alone those who had never seen or heard Him preach.

  30. Ixtlan says:

    I guess its impossible to let the vegans be vegans.

  31. Xenia says:

    I simply do not see anything in the story that suggests this woman was ignorant, immature or even superstitious. I see a very sick woman who had faith in Christ and acted on her faith and was healed.

  32. Michael says:


    Most Protestant commentators see it differently.
    Again, I was very careful to say that her ignorance and immaturity was theological and spiritual, not making any whole aspersions on her character.

  33. Michael says:


    I love vegans…I just don’t want to have supper with them. πŸ˜‰

  34. Xenia says:

    How many sick people do you suppose were in that crowd that day? Any one of them could have pushed their way to Jesus and been healed but we only read about this one woman, who had faith in Christ and acted on her faith. I have never before heard that she was an immature superstitious ignoramus. I have always heard her faith being commended as an example for us all.

  35. Michael says:


    What she did is an example for us all.
    The error (in my opinion) is to make a saint out of her instead of recognizing that she was as desperate and confused as the rest of us.

  36. Rick Gonzalez says:

    Two thumbs up for mexican coke.

  37. “you and I will disagree agreeably on this matter”

    Thanks my friend.

  38. erunner says:

    #2… The application is understood. On a practical level though… I would never become a vegan…… BUT….. I have incorporated a lot of what they do into my life and I have benefited greatly as I’ve lost weight and my health has improved greatly. I’ve learned to dine in both restaurants peacefully! Make your own application!! πŸ™‚

  39. Nonnie says:

    I’ve always seen the woman with the issue of blood in the same way. Her theology may not have been perfect (reaching for the hem of his garment) and she certainly broke all “laws” of the Jews and society, for her condition, but she knew Jesus could help her and she stepped out in faith, hoping for God’s mercy upon her. I’ve always been encouraged by that. I have fallen for some goofy teaching in the past, and perhaps, unknowingly, I still do…..but I am resting in the mercy and grace of God found in placing my faith in Christ.

  40. Michael says:

    Erunner…well done. πŸ™‚

  41. erunner says:

    #1… Evangelicals have been ripped for the music they listen to, the books they read and all of the things you have noted.

    Evangelicals (whoever that is these days) are now marked by the world and the enlightened in the church. Soon they/we will be gone after for every ill that plagues society. I’ve seen it coming for years.

    As the marriage of the world and portions of the church evolves I shudder to think what’s coming down the pike.

  42. Michael says:


    She was an extremely admirable woman, even if only for keeping on through all that she had endured.
    Her story is our story…when we make it about her merits instead of about the mercy of Christ, that story is taken from us.

  43. erunner says:

    Rick Gonzalez @ 36. I might have reworded that…. coca cola sounds better! πŸ™‚

  44. 1.) – Odd that you consider Frank Schaeffer a hipster.

  45. Michael says:

    Aging, but a hipster nonetheless…

  46. Solomon Rodriguez says:

    Hipsters can kiss my white a$$

  47. RiBo says:

    Not a fan of hipsters, in general, but find myself agreeing with the Rob Bell’s and Frank Schaeffer’s if those are “hipsters”…while I’d like to choke Steven Furdick unconscious and other smug hipsters of his ilk.

    I like Stellman, and he’s a hipster. I chalk it up to low testosterone. Might not be their fault, could be biological. πŸ™‚

  48. Oh No says:


    I thought your a$$ was suntan. πŸ™‚

  49. gomergirl says:

    I have to say that I have not seen the hipster responses in#1. I have seen graciousness and love shown by those who were most offended by WBC, and that has really spoken to me and my response to those who hate me.

    As for your vacuum, one of my earliest memories of a certain religious television channel, before they were global, is of a pink haired lady reading a letter written by a viewer who said that they “laid their hand on the tv and their hand on the washer, and God healed the washer” It has stuck with me, and in times when the miraculous seems to happen I have to wonder if my families’ jokes were a bit hasty and misdirected.

    I think that love and mercy and grace trump all in the NT, as per the examples of Jesus. Who are we to put conditions and baggage on the things that were given so freely.

    Don’t know about the footty, but good on you!

    and if #3 is true then God and I were pretty tight this weekend.

    just saying…

  50. Steve Wright says:

    The best part of the woman’s story in Mark 5 in my view is verse 33

  51. Solomon Rodriguez says:


    I thought your a$$ was suntan.”

    That was in the BC days πŸ™‚

  52. RiBo says:

    Derek Carr is a stud. I think you’re right about that one.

    I would love to see real miracles today. It would validate those claiming Apostolic Authority or “special anointing” etc and would prove their connection to God…but alas, we get vacuums that start working and anecdotal stories…instead of walking on water, turning water into wine and healing a withered hand in plain sight.

  53. Solomon Rodriguez says:

    I would love for Derek Carr to be the real deal but the memory of his brother impersonating an NFL QB still poisens my mind!

  54. RiBo says:

    Agreed on David Carr. He had all the tools…but the NFL game was too fast for him. Derek will have to overcome that impression left by his bro.

  55. Dude, I’ll take a broken vacuum back from the brink any day!
    Any reason to praise God is freekin’ awesome

  56. RiBo says:

    I’ve got several things that need healing from the pawn shops. I spent my day-off fixing some of them. Maybe I should pray for some miracles as a couple of the items still aren’t working πŸ˜‰

  57. If you had bought the vacuum at Costco, you could have just taken it back. πŸ™‚

  58. Randall Slack says:

    “You can laugh if you want to, but I believe God fixed my vacuum cleaner Friday night. It smoked, it broke, I couldn’t fix it, I prayed, it works. Sometimes, mercy begins with a trickle…”

    Years ago, Gary Larson (The Far Side) had a cartoon of a vacuum cleaner healing evangelist. It was very funny, as he commanded the foul demon of dust to come forth.

    I sure hope we don’t start seeing you Michael on those lase night religious channels…

    On another note, when I was first a Christian, I was driving my 1953 Chevy down the Garden Grove Freeway with a friend of mine. The car started running very rough, so I pulled over, opened the hood, and found that the carburetor had a steady stream of gas pouring out of it. My friend asked what we were going to do? To which I replied, “Jesus is going to heal this car!” I shut the hood, started the car, and it never leaked again.

    Guess I was just young enough in the Faith to believe that God could heal, even a car. Wish I still had that kind of faith.

  59. Rick Gonzalez says:

    Good point E-runner, you never know who may get the wrong idea.

  60. Rick Gonzalez says:

    Michael, I had a similar experience that you had with your vacuum but iin my case it was a tv (no joke).

  61. Michael says:

    I knew that thought would bring a certain amount of skepticism and mockery…but I assure you that thing was busted and I didn’t fix it. πŸ™‚

    It meant more than just renewed ability to clean to me…

  62. London says:

    One time when I was a young poor college student my vw bug suddenly stopped dead in the intersection.
    A very nice lady got out of the car behind me , came over and asked what was wrong. I told her and asked if she would help me push it off the road.
    She put her hands on the car like she was going to help…then told me she was going to lay hands on the car and pray for it. She did.
    Nothing happened. She got in her car and drove away.
    True story.
    I’ve never quite understood what the heck that was all about.
    I has to push the car to the side of the road in my own.

  63. I think I agree with X on #4.

  64. Michael says:


    I tries to heal my truck today and didn’t meet with the same success.
    If only I could drive the vacuum…

  65. Michael says:


    My point wasn’t to denigrate or insult the woman with the issue of blood.
    The point is that Jesus in His mercy doesn’t depend on our theological acumen or pristine motives to help us in our time of need.

  66. I realize that.
    I just think that her motives and theology aren’t fleshed out enough to support the conclusion.
    But, who knows I could be wrong. πŸ™‚

  67. London says:

    I was just so blown away that she would just pray, then up and leave me stranded like that.
    To this day, I still am baffled.

  68. Ixtlan says:


    at least it was VW bug and not a Ford LTD πŸ˜‰

  69. Dude says:

    Fred Phelps and Frankie have so much in common .Fred was an accuser of the gays and Frankie is a accuser of the brethren .What a waste.

  70. London says:

    Actually. Now that you mention it. It wasn’t the bug. That was another car.
    It was my folks 66 Olds that they let me have to drive to school.
    The carburetor on it used to get “stuck” so you has to tap it with a rock to get it unstuck.
    The VW was the one my pastor at the time took a sledge hammer to when he was trying to get the tire off.
    Good times πŸ™‚

  71. Nonnie says:

    A young Filipino man that my husband was encouraging in the Lord, came to us one day, with his heart soaring with a story I will never forget. His wife told him one morning that all they had in the cupboard was a few cups of rice…no meat or veg and he should go “borrow” from the neighbours, as they had no money. He was a “brand new” believer (she was not…yet) and he had been reading the gospels, seeing how Jesus provided. He told her to cook the rice and bring it to the table and God would provide. The family sat down and he prayed for God to provide for his little family. A few minutes later the family cat walked into their little house carrying a longanisa, a dried sausage…still in a plastic wrapper! They ate and praised God! Soon the entire family were believers. Today that man is a pastor of a humble church in Manila. I have never forgotten that story and we have a few of our own like that too. The Lord doesn’t “fix” everything the way we want, but I know He gives what we need to give us the strength to move on toward home.

  72. #58

    Oden Fong and I were going to go to church on a Sunday evening when his VW would not start. We got out and upon his admonition we layed hands upon the hood and prayed in tongues over it.

    We got in and it started right up and gave us no problems.

  73. While I love a good steak the facts of some have the opinion that not eating them will improve ones health…

  74. Eating grass and grains didn’t help the cow.

  75. Ixtlan says:

    good times indeed. A ’66 Olds explains everything. Those were heavy cars πŸ˜‰

  76. JoelG says:

    Michael the more this WV controversy goes on the more I appreciate point #1. What some are saying about their brothers in Christ is extremely unfair and upsetting.

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