Things I Think…
1. I think I have no use for any theology that describes believers as being “safe”, as if faith allows you walk over and through all the pain in life unscathed…we are ultimately safe in Christ in that He will safely guide us into eternity, but in this life there are times of terror and grief that overwhelm us all…
2. It makes many uncomfortable that I express my grief and pain openly…writing is how I get it from my heart to the outside lest I be overwhelmed…and every time you hear me weep through words it tells someone else that weeping is the proper response to pain and expressing pain is a prayer…because there are those who think both are a sin…
3. When you grieve deeply and openly you join your Savior at the tomb of Lazarus… crying because you know that things are not the way they were meant to be…knowing that death will have no place in the new creation, but that time has not yet come…
4. When we fully embrace the terror and pain of this world we fully embrace and worship the Incarnated Christ who embraced, absorbed, and defeated it all on our behalf…to minimize it is to diminish Him, to feel it as He did is an act of worship…
5. You cannot know Jesus without weeping, nor without kneeling with Him in Gethsemane where the stress and pain of the moment brought forth blood from his temples…indeed, you cannot bear your own cross without seeing His…
6. Grief eventually and inevitably leads to worship for those in Christ…because we know that He both experienced it and defeated it and because He did, we will too…the story is not over and life wins in the end…
7. To minimize the humanity of Christ is as heretical as minimizing His divinity…
8. For my critics:
āThe first of these living beings was like a lion; the second was like an ox; the third had a human face; and the fourth was like an eagle in flight.
Each of these living beings had six wings, and their wings were covered all over with eyes, inside and out. Day after day and night after night they keep on saying, āHoly, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almightyā the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come.āā (Revelation 4:7ā8 NLT-SE)
That is a picture of all creation worshipping together around the throne of God…think about it…
9. People try to differentiate between the loss of a person and the loss of a pet, but that is not really the issue…the issue is the loss of a loved one…the loss of love given and received…yes, people are more valuable than pets, but love for either is love that refuses measure…
10. When Smokey passed I didn’t want to have another cat, but that would be giving in to hell.
Love in the face of grief is an act of rebellion against evil.
One of the cats that lives with my godson doesn’t play well with the other cats, so my dear friend Liam will be moving in with me. He is a fine cat with a big heart and a bad attitude and he and I get along famously…hopefully, he will outlive me as well…thank you all for your kindnesses and the love you’ve shown for Smokey and me…
well spoken thoughts here Micheal. We aren’t promised a pain-free life and those that say we should always be “victorious…wealthy…flourishing” are selling crap. Life involves pain, and loving someone is painful, whether or not they are covered in fur – wasn’t trying to be funny there…just tying into your #9 & 10.
Dan,
That is truth…we’ve been sold more than a few “false” Gospels…
So much truth here.
Thanks, CK!
Wise thoughts, Michael, wise thoughts
Keep singing the blues, Michael. For some of us, it is the only truth we are sure of.
Thanks, Em…
One thing that always strikes me about Jesus’ presence at Lazarus’ tomb are His tears. He weeps, even while knowing that Lazarus is about to walk out of that grave at Jesus’ command. Yet Jesus still weeps. That is how much He loves Mary and Martha, how much He identifies with their grief.
Weep at the death of Smokey, Michael. It is normal and God-given. I would be more concerned if you did NOT weep at the death of your beloved friend.
Josh,
Amazing that you would use that metaphor…I was thinking this morning that singing the blues moves into great black Gospel…the pain produces the joy or at least the promise of it…was listening to Sister Tharpe at 4 this morning…
Tim,
Well said and true…thank you.
pain, loss, and tragedy are seeds sown onto the ground–and some fall on rocky ground, others on dry ground, still others the birds pluck away, but some falls on fertile ground and much fruit comes from their bounty. Too many proclaimers of the gospel actually inhabit infertile, hostile ground and the difficulties of life do not produce in them the character of Christ. May it be not so with us.
fil,
God word…amen.
Itās already been said but this is a great post.
I especially liked #2.
Iāve never owned a cat but Iāve had dogs all my life. My favorite was a Carin Terrior. She was my āstudy buddyā. My sermon prep was normally done at my house, in my office, and Maggie would always be at my feet.
I used to put a basket on my handle bars and she would ride with me.
One day after a ride, her back legs wouldnāt work. Took her to the vet who said she had a large tumor in her hind end. We had to put her down. I loved that dog and I wept like a little child.
If there is a secret to a āhappy lifeā is learning to shake hands with sufferingāIMOāand after grieving (which our own bodies tell us when itās time to stop) moving forward.
Officerhoppy,
Thank you and amen…
Michael,
#9 – YES! Well expressed.
and especially, “The issue is the loss of a loved one.” Exactly!
Even in the midst of your pain and talking about yourself and your feelings you are ministering to me and many others.
Hang in there. You know that in time the pain will ease.
“Sister Tharpe” – That made me smile.
Thanks, Parker…Sister Rosetta chases away the blues with the blues…
#2. Truth. I’m copying this to my own FB page. Grief as prayer is a perfect way of expressing what is actually occurring. This distorted idea that grief shows faithlessness needs to be obliterated; I believe it to be quite the opposite – my grief takes me to the very throne of God. Thank you for your words.
Alex,
Thank you…if it resonates with you, then I trust I got it right…the religious among us will never get it …
Thank you for posting so honestly about your grief, Michael . My dogs are like family and the tears I shed when one of them passes are very real. I am so sorry for your loss of a beloved companion who brought you so much comfort in your life. My beloved father passed recently at age 96, and luckily I was able to fly to Wisconsin to spend time with him during the last week of his life. It’s been 5 months since he passed and it’s still difficult for me because I simply miss him so much. I almost feel guilty grieving because I know I was especially lucky to have him in my life for so long, but that I think that is also why I miss his presence so much. Years ago a friend passed away and when I attended his funeral at Calvary Chapel I wore a black dress jacket. I actually got some disapproving looks because I was wearing black. I had forgotten the ‘no wearing black’ rule at Calvary Chapel funerals because we were all supposed to be showing how happy we were that the deceased was now in the presence of God. I knew this man was with the Lord and his long battle with cancer was finally over, but he left behind two young sons and a young wife, and I was very sad about his death. There’s no use denying how difficult it is to part with a loved one; better to grieve openly and honestly. God is real, but He can’t take away all our pain until we’re actually in heaven. It was sometimes stressful at Calvary because I always felt the pressure to pretend that Christians never feel pain and sadness. Jesus knew better when he was on earth, Jesus wept. Thanks for reminding us of this and giving people permission to grieve in their own way instead of trying to follow some made up formula.
Janet Linn, BrideofChrist,
Thank you and may God bring you every comfort in your loss.
Some folks think they honor God by denying their humanity…and that is a lie from the pit.
Grieve as you loved…in that way you honor both the person (or pet) and the Lord who brought them.
Michael,
I’m glad that you are willing to open your heart to another cat! When I lost Ally last year, after only having her for two years, I didn’t think I could have another cat for a while. I didn’t want to get hurt again, having lost my cat of 18 years during the beginning of the pandemic. But, there was Felix, whose owners needed a place for him quickly due to the allergy issue that they didn’t know about when they adopted him. Three weeks after Ally took off, Felix moved in with his all his goofiness and attitude. I was smitten immediately and I’m so glad I said yes. Liam won’t be Smokey, but I hope that he will provide much joy as you get to know each other.
ā9. People try to differentiate between the loss of a person and the loss of a pet, but that is not really the issueā¦the issue is the loss of a loved oneā¦the loss of love given and receivedā¦yes, people are more valuable than pets, but love for either is love that refuses measureā¦ā
In all seriousness, this is perhaps the most insightful thing youāve ever written. It helps me understand the grief I feel for the loss of a pet.
Well said Michael!
Those in pain understand and appreciate your writingsš„¹
And I am so glad youāre having another roommate šā¦
Thatās awesome š¤©
“Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail.”
Luther
Linn,
I wasn’t going take him…the losses are too hard on me, especially as I get older.
But…Liam and I are already buds and he’s mean to another cat I consider a friend as well.
Liam and I already have a relationship and if anything happened to him it would hurt no matter where he lived.
I also think he’ll help with mom…so here we go. š
Jean,
Thank you…I hope you feel free to give the loss as needed and deserved…
Elena,
Thank you my friend…I know how much the losses have hurt you too…
bob1,
Luther and I agree on something!
Michael, I wasnāt going to take Felix, either. I asked for a couple weeks to think about it because I didnāt feel ready. Then they sent me a photo and I couldnāt say no to those big blue eyes. He has had his issues (play aggression being the main one with one trip to urgent care for me from a bite). But heās much calmer and a true character.. He did fill the hole and he gets me, which is why cats are such great companions.
Linn,
He looks like a character…a handsome boy.
If I would have said no, it would have meant that death had the victory over both Smokey and I…and I would be a lesser man for lack of a cat.
They keep me in touch with my better angels…
Michael, š
Michael,
I live alone, so coming home to Felix is always a gift.
He just stuffed half of himself into his too small yurt leftover from my last cat. Iāll be looking for a full-sized model!
Linn,
For the most part, I’m isolated too.
By choice and by circumstance.
Miss Kitty kept name going as we fled the fires together.
Smokey got me through heart surgery.
I’m glad you have Felix and wish you many more happy years.
Great post Michael.
Thanks, Jimmie T.
Sorrowful….
Had to go in to town today to sign some papers….
Coming home there was a dead deer beside the road. I put my flashers on and got out to see if there was a safer place that I could drag it to.
It had been hit in the head, lost an eye and it was still breathing! There was nothing I could do and right now I don’t feel very good, myself!
Michael,
Some āprofessional lossesā (human fatalities on my watch) have likely tainted my perspectives on the existential value of striving to subsist in a terminally broken world.
I sometimes think that a dead animal next to the road was weary from mourning the futility of a scarred existence, and knowingly chose their path of liberation ā¦ending the struggle and the sorrow.
Em,
Those are hard situations…and can be dangerous. Praying for you…
Dave,
I understand that to a point…but every cat I’ve ever had stayed on as long as they could…because the bond they had was worth the futility.
Michael wrote:
“because there are those who think both are a sinā¦”
Their god (small ‘g’ intentional) is a cruel and petulant tyrant whose only aim is to aggrandize himself.
Michael, I’m sorry for your loss of Smokeh The Kitteh, to channel colloquial.
My mom ran something like a puppy mill from before I was 10 until I moved out at 18. We had a few free range cats but up to 50 dogs at one point. I had cutsey nicknames for every one of them, most with official AKC names, but I saw so many die tragically that by the time I was maybe 14 I was numbed to losses.
Over 10 years later, my neighbor gave me her pet rat. When she expired in my hands, looking me in the face, still bruxing (grinding her teeth, the rat equivalent of cats purring), I weptm like a babe, the first time in over 20 years after I witnessed our first muttely die from car, parvo or old age. I realized that it was OK to cry over the loss of “just an animal.” My rat Rizzo who sat on my shoulder and nuzzled in my hoodie and would come when called by name.
Anyone who shames you over that grief is anathema. Animals were created to be our companions after all.
Sad to hear that CC shames grief… invalidating closure.
Well said Michael. Thank you. šÆļø